Friday, May 9, 2008

Lesser of evils

Although my interest in the playoffs has diminished quite a bit, my love for hockey overall keeps me paying attention. It's also boring to have no one to root for, so I am going to root for Pittsburgh. Why you ask? Because I hate them the least.

Detroit: Detroit is like that really hot girl in your dorm in college who all the guys loved and didn't gain the freshman 15, the kid in calculus who ALWAYS knew the answers and stifled giggles when someone said, "I still don't get it", and meathead jock who won all the awards and got all the tail, rolled into one mass of obnoxiousness. And Babcock getting a nod for the Jack Adams? Really? I could have coached that team to Cup. But by all means, if you are the kind of sports fans who roots for Tiger Woods, The Yankees, etc, whose gear is readily available in stripmalls across the US, then the Red Wings are for you.

Dallas: If Ribeiro was on fire, not only would I not piss on him to help put it out, but I'd throw an 8 month old Christmas tree soaked in propane on him. Enough said.

Philadelphia: Steve Downie, Jesse Boulerice, Randy Jones, Scott Hartnell, Bobby Clarke. All a bunch of thugs who don't deserve to play the game.

Pittsburgh: Fairly non offensive. Has hockey's golden boy who happens to remind me of Andy Samberg whom I love. They were also featured on Sudden Death . Any team that shows up in a Jean Claude Van Damme movie can't be bad, right? Although I occasionally get flashbacks of Ulf and Jagr and start to twitch a bit...

So there you go folks. Pittsburgh is the least offensive team left in the the playoffs. So I give them a half hearted, Go PENS!
In the meantime, I encourage Sidney to keep up with the shirtless photo shoots. His man/boy pecs are oddly enough appealing to me.

Monday, May 5, 2008


Tim Thomas started in net for Team USA in their first IIHF game against Latvia with 24 saves in a 4-0 win. In USA's second game, Timmy T faced an agonizing 12 shots. Lone Slovenia goal was scored by Anze Kopitar, who handcuffed Thomas with his ugliness. Also during the game, Kopitar was nailed into the boards by Bag Ala Douche, Keith Ballard, who received a 10 minute unsportsmanlike penalty for the nasty hit. Kessel, Phil Kessel, What, tallied a hat trick in USA's 5-1 win over Slovenia in the IIHF. This event poses two questions.

1) Try scoring a fucking hat trick with a B on your chest. (I guess that is more of a statement)
2) Slovenia is a country?

US takes on Canada next on Tuesday. Most of Canada's eyes should be on this match seeing that Canada's hopes and dreams of a Canadian team winning the Cup this season were shattered, destroyed, obliterated, smashed, ruined, broken, and demolished by the Habs second round exit.

Speaking of retards, now that the Habs are out of the playoff scene, the Sagging Tits and the Flying Mullet will be joining team Belarus. This is Sergei's first appearance in the Worlds, and boy, he is still ugly. The utter failure of the Hab's playoff run also gave a boost to the Czech team as they will be adding Tomas "the little girl" Plekanec to their roster.

Updates to follow.

Running Tally
Thomas: 2
World: 0

Saturday, May 3, 2008


Habs are out.

My fiance is actually still watching this game as I type this. I know the outcome, but he had paused it several times and there is still 6 minutes left. He is in the dark about the grim reality that the Habs are currently facing. There is still hope, for him that is. It's kinda sad watching him sit on the edge of his old Forum seat, clinging on to the hope that the Habs won't completely blow it. Part of me feels sad for him, but evil part of me is quite pleased. However, I will continue to sit here, with my headphones on, playing Alchemy. I will not give him shit, I will now rub it in his face, I will not gloat. At least not tonight.

Let's go Pens!!!!