Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Young, Dumb and Full of Come Over Here and Shake My Hand

Looch? Savvy? Who are those guys? I could feel the clouds gathering earlier, as the fairweather fans started with the "the season is over" and "what are we going to do" bullshit. I have no patience for that.

There are a whole bunch of kids up from Providence, and one new cat from de Boofalo. Sobotka still needs to go away, but I think that Patty Cake and Marchand might have a little something that is going to click pretty well. It was good to see Patty get all jacked up after scoring that goal off of Chara's shot. He normally doesn't show too much, so that shit always makes me smile. I think that Patty must feel like an old man sometimes, as it's his seventh year in the league. I'm sure having some young buck playing on your line makes you realize that this shit can be fun if you want it to be!

Great to see Begin get a goal. He's growing on me. I hate to fucking say it, but he's growing on me. He did miss a golden chance last week to smash Ribiero's teeth down his throat, but what are you going to do?

The D still looks a little disorganized. I miss Hnidy back there. Chuck Morris is trying hard, but he and Chara will find a way to get it done. Timmy looked alright.

I hope they keep this thing going. Sometimes having this much youth in the lineup makes the vets realize that they need to play hungry...which is exactly what the boys need to do.

Go B's.

Friday, October 16, 2009


Anyone happen to see the pre-game opening at the Bell Centre last night? Jesus christ. Yet another reason I can't stand the Habs. But enough about those no-talent assclowns.

The semi-talented assclowns (also referred to as the 09-10 Boston Bruins, I keeeed, I keeeeeeed) will be going with the Stars tonight. Everyone remembers what that game against the Stars did for the B's last year. Avery is gone, but we can count on that little fucker Steve Ott to do something retarded. Also, be on the lookout for Mike Modano to crumble into a pile of dust due to terminal osteoporosis. Modano's first year in the league was 89-90. Great googlie mooglie.

Couple things:
-Look for Looch to get his first of the season.
-Boychuck will continue to play his ass off, making Hunwick look like a mook.
-All four lines will play great hockey tonight, but Begin/Edgecrusher/Bacon will continue to be the most consistent. Plus, Begin and Ott are in the same weight class, so watch for that.
-I'm going with Timmy. Tuuka looked like shit in that last game.

Let's get this season heading in the right direction.

Go B's.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


Just found this on John Buccigross' column. Kind of made me smile for some reason.

I had a really cool experience this summer.
I got invited to a private pick-up game. Great group of guys. Among them was Steve Heinze (Bruins, Blue Jackets, Sabres, Kings). It was really cool for me because he was one of my favorite players while he was on the Kings and I'd actually been in the audience at the Staples Center when he scored a goal against the Sharks.
You probably know he retired due to concussions. He's still relatively young and he's kept in shape, so it was cool to get to play against a player of that caliber and see just how good one must be to make it in the NHL. The guy is nuts good.
He casually skated around the most of the time with huge speedskater strides and a big ol' grin on his face. The guy loves the game. He was laughing, joking around the whole time. He wore his jersey inside-out, but I could tell it was one of his old Kings practice jerseys. It was classy of him not to flaunt.
Of course, he played with only half effort most of the time, but he turned it on a few times and made my eyes cross. Several times, he deked through all five guys, skated to the goalie and dished it off to somebody else. Humbling stuff. I know you've skated with Pat LaFontaine and others, but, for a California boy who has to drive two hours to the nearest ice, this was an unreal experience. Just had to share.
PatrickSan Luis Obispo, Calif.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Seriously, What. The. FUCK.

I wasn't at the game tonight, but I have it on good information that the above picture is a true rendering of what Tuuka "The Sucking Black Vortex of Self-Confidence Destroying Dastardley Goalieman-ship-ish" Rask looks like in real life.

What's the word? Floundering. Falling on one's face. Fucked out of the gate. Too fucking skinny to stop a puck flying at 12 mph, let alone 90+. Eat a sandwich. Chug a protein shake for fuck's sake. I don't know if fuck is possessive of sake, but in this case, I'm running with it.

Yes, I'm a little drunk. And yes, I looked forward to watching the game tonight. What I didn't expect was the abortion of a hockey game that I saw, yet again. Hey boys, we came back against the Isles, let's just go ahead and go down against the Avs, too! Sounds great, eh?!?!

I'm a little Chicken Little Jack Daniels right now, but please allow me the trangression. I'm part of the blog. I have many leather-bound books. I'm kind of a big deal.

Ah fuck it. The sky isn't falling. A few games in and some kinks have to be worked out. I'm not freaking. Just a little drunk and a little pissed off. As we would call it in Franklin County, "feeling froggy." If I was from Richford, I would go out on my porch and yell until the police show up, at which point I would fight them, stopping only when a well-timed strike from a maglight imploded my left testicle. Ah yes, nothing wrong with a little flashlight therapy.

Go B's.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

It Is What It Is

Yes, the Bruins pulled one out last night. They came back from three down to push it to OT, eventually winning it in the shootout. Yes, Tuuka got a win for his personal stats.
This game was bullshit. The Bruins did not deserve to win. Yes, the rally was great to watch, but they might have learned more if they had gotten shutout by the fucking New York Islanders.
The Bruins are starting to resemble the menstrual flow of a fourteen year old. They're spotty as hell and you have no idea when they're going to stop and/or start. The Begin/Edgecrusher/Bacon line has been the most consistent, getting quality scoring chances on almost every single shift. They played well again last night, with Bacon sneaking one past the Roloson (it was ugly, but I'll fucking take it).
The consistent effort isn't there for some reason. Apparently the practice that Julien put them through the other day did little blow the rust out of the legs and brains. YOU ARE PLAYING HOCKEY NOW, BOYS. OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES AND REALIZE THIS. Otherwise, it's going to be a very long fucking season.
Some of the crazy folks out there are already freaking out, saying that this is indicative of a larger issue, this team won't go far, blah blah blah. It's four games in, and they are showing some areas that they need to improve on. Relax. There is A LOT of hockey left to play.
Couple things:
-Fake Wheeler (he has grown his hair, put on 15 pounds of muscle and we're all pretty sure it's not the real Blake Wheeler) needs to understand that if he mishandled the puck in the shootout, it would have been over. Nice goal, but it would have been cool to have Ken Baumgartner back on the bench (nugget!) to smack his impostor ass around after that.
-I like what Chuck Morris is bringing to the blue line on the PP. That low, hard shot has me thinking of Raymond.
-Wideman probably ripped up his shoulder last night. Might allow him some time to reflect on his play so far this year. He and Hunwick are in my scope due to their menstrual play (see above).
-Fuck me, it's good to see Sturm back. Forgot how fast that Nazi sonofabitch was.
-Looch, Ryder, Krejci: Wake up please.
-Stuart: Last night I was thinking about how I had wished that the Bruins had traded you instead of Alberts. I now apologize for thinking such a thing. You have grown on me, Oh He of Caveman Strength and 5 O'Clock Shadow.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Where does one's loyalty lay? Is it for an invidual that took one for the team? Or is it to the team as a family concept, with the belief that it was an assault against the team and not one individual?

If it's the former, Scott Walker doesn't have much to worry about tonight. If it's the latter, he better keep his head up. Personally, I think that the boys will be looking for any infraction, no matter how slight, to make Scott rely on a walker to move around for the rest of his life (5 minute major, 10 minute game misconduct, and a review with the league disciplinary board for that one...I apologize).

And let's just treat this as game one of the season. The "effort" against the Caps the other night was a bit too disjointed, half-assed, and slow motion to be the actual Bruins....right? RIGHT???

Go B's.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Is This Really Happening?

I woke up this morning and realized that hockey is supposed to be on tonight. Am I dreaming?

Then I read that Sobotka get sent down to Providence. I'm definitely dreaming. This is the best dream ever. As long as I'm dreaming, I hope tonight's game is entertaining as hell, with the Bruins emerging as the victors. I hope Marco Polo plays well and doesn't blow a knee. Am I'm praying that Krejci isn't rushing his hip. I hope that Hunwick gets laid out and remembers that he's just a pup and needs to prove himself this year. And I hope that Looch comes to help Hunwick, laying waste to whoever was stupid enough to do something like that when Looch was on the ice. And I hope that Patty Cake finally shakes loose all of the cobwebs and has a completely injury-free season.

I hope that someone steps up and realizes the opportunity that the departure of Ol' One Nut has afforded. It's a wide open spot on the number one line. Someone needs to seize that spot with vengeance and show the league that Kessel isn't needed.

I will drink a beer tonight in honor of the departed PJ. For so long (now that I think of it, literally half of my freaking life), number 11 was on the ice each year. I'll miss him and his tireless ways. I'll miss the goofy way he spoke english (like his mouth was full of fun fruits) and the way he could go headfirst into the corner at full speed and bounce right up. Gumby shall live forever.

Is there really hockey on tonight??? Jesus, it's going to be a long day at work. Nothing will get done today.

But really, I just hope that the season is entertaining. I hope the boys play their hearts out and leave everything on the ice. In less than nine hours, they'll take to the ice and start another chapter. I hope they keep the proud tradition going.

Go B's.