Nothing else matters. The missed calls are done. The missed opportunities are a moot point. The lack of scoring doesn't matter.
What matters is this:
The Bruins have put themselves in a position to close this out. They are in a familiar place: their backs are to the wall and the doubters are screaming, saying they don't have what it takes to advance past this series.
Perfect.
Even as the defending Cup champions, no one picked them to repeat. The sexy teams of the league, the Pens and Flyers and Red Wings and Canucks were picked ahead of the Bruins. 3 of those teams are gone.
This is the same spot they found themselves in last year. It's been a hard series, but they're home. They have a chance to end it on home ice, in front of their fans that love nothing more than their boys in the spoked B.
It's time to get it done. It's time to close it out, making this series a footnote in another march to the Cup.
Let's go boys. Big game.
We believe.
Go B's.

Angry Ginger Kid Says...

WHAT IS THIS SHIT?
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT??
YOU ARE THE BOSTON BRUINS. YOU WON THE CUP LAST YEAR. YOU DO NOT PLAY LIKE THIS. YOU DO NOT GET PUSHED AROUND BY THE WASHINGTON FUCKING CAPITALS. YOU DO NOT LET SOME RANDOM ROOKIE BOOT GOALIE BE THE "FEEL GOOD" STORY OF THE YEAR, BY BOUNCING THE MIGHTY BOSTON BRUINS IN THE FIRST ROUND.
ENOUGH OF THIS SHITTY SHIT. GET IN FRONT OF THE NET. GET IN THE BOOT'S FACE. MAKE HIM RUE THE DAY HE HAD THE FUCKING GALL TO CHALLENGE THE BOSTON BRUINS. GET PUCKS THROUGH AND HEY HERE'S A THOUGHT, TIP SOME FUCKING PUCKS.
HIT, HIT AND HIT ANY CAPITAL THAT DARES TO COME IN THE OFFENSIVE ZONE. GIVE AN EXTRA FACEWASH AND GET THE NASTY UP. STOP BEING THE TEAM THAT TAKES HITS AND TAKES IT LAYING DOWN. HIT, CRUSH AND DESTROY YOUR OPPONENT.
TO THE TOP TWO LINES THAT ARE DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING: WHERE IS THE EFFORT??? THIS IS THE GODDAMN PLAYOFFS. THIS ISN'T A LITTLE DIPSY DOO OF A SERIES EIGHT GAMES INTO THE SEASON. THIS IS THE STANLEY MOTHERFUCKING CUP MOTHERFUCKING PLAYOFFS. ACT FUCKING ACCORDINGLY. GET IT DONE. NOW.
YOU ARE THE BOSTON GODDAMN BRUINS. YOU DO NOT BOW OUT IN THE FIRST ROUND TO SOME SUB-PAR TEAM THAT STRUGGLED ALL YEAR. YOU DO NOT LET THE CAVEMAN LOOKING MOTHERFUCKER TAKE HIS TINTED VISOR INTO THE 2ND ROUND. YOU DO NOT LET ONE OF THE DIRTIEST PLAYERS IN LEAGUE HISTORY COME IN AS A ROOKIE COACH AND GET HIS TEAM OF FUCKTARDS INTO THE 2ND ROUND. YOU DO NOT BACK DOWN, YOU DO NOT GIVE AN INCH AND YOU SURE AS FUCK DON'T LOSE THIS SERIES.
IF YOU DON'T, YOU WILL FIND A TREAT IN YOUR STALLS. I'M NOT QUITE POTTY-TRAINED AND I WILL TAKE SPECIAL CARE TO EAT ALL OF MY FISHSTICKS AND APPLESAUCE AND I WILL BREW YOU A SPECIAL CIRCLE OF HELL THAT WILL THEN BE SMEARED ALL OVER YOUR STALLS.
GET. IT. DONE.
Gotta go. Mom has a Capri Sun waiting for me.
Go B's.

The Capitals Done Messed Up

The Bruins have taken a 2-1 lead against the Caps. Our boys have been struggling to score (UNDERSTATEMENT). Looch/Krejci/whoever have failed to convert on pretty much every single chance they've had, few and far between as they've been. Even the normally "steady as she goes" line of Patty/Marchand/Seguin have been stymied. The 3rd and 4th lines have been the most consistent performers, getting good solid chances and scoring some goals.
Here's why all of this is about to change:
The Caps have made the horrible choice to wake up the slumbering Boston Bruins.
We who watch the Bruins game in and game out know that they are their most engaged when things are physical, chippy and nasty. We know that they excel in these games, that there isn't a team in the league that can't stand with or up to them when they have a hair across their collective ass. The Big Bad Bruins come together as a team when their opponent decides to try and play mean.
There's a difference between playing physical and playing Bruins hockey. Up to Game 3, the play had been physical, mostly on the part of the Caps. There were some big hits (i.e. Ovechkin running around like a Communist retard), but nothing really nasty.
This has changed.
Karl Alzner made the extremely ill-advised decision to grab onto Looch's head and try to act tough. Looch had been absolutely asleep so far this series. Alzner has woken him up. I haven't seen the snarl on his face in quite some time and it was heartening to see. And then, with no time remaining, Backstrom made the smart choice to crosscheck Peverley in the head (and we're still waiting on any supplemental punishment, but Shanny being Shanny, Peverley will probably get fined for having his head in the way of Backstrom's stick).
The Caps won't realize the error of their ways until they are broken and bleeding at the end of the 1st period in the next game. To use Jack Edwards' term, they've poked the bear.
This will not end well for them. The Bruins turn into absolute gods when they are pissed off and dropping shoulders into the chests of their opponents.
Can't wait for thursday. It's funny because I'm sure Alzner can...hope he gets his will squared away.
Go B's.

Is This Real Life?

I decided to read the second Hunger Games book over the past couple of days to get me through some intense hockey withdrawal. I’m excited and amped up for the playoffs to start, so I thought I would fuel that with some good ole fashion kid killing fantasy fiction.

So about 11pm last night, I finish the book and am having a hard time getting to sleep as I want to just start reading the next one to see what happens. But finally I doze off around 11:45 and start dreaming about Katniss, Peeta, Finnick...

During my dream I hear some buzzing and realize that it’s coming from my phone. It’s blowing up with what sounds like, text after text. When I finally adjust my eyes and take a look I realize I’m getting push notifications from my Bruins app.
That’s odd. Apparently the Bruins marketing team couldn’t sleep either, but sending out notifications at well past midnight? Come on guys. So I take a look and the first one I see is the third one down in this pic.

I start to panic. What time did the game start??? THE CAPS ARE ALREADY FUCKING UP 2-0??? I frantically reach for my remote in a desperate act to find NESN and send my winning vibes to the game and start watching. As I do this, I’m too tired and filled with images of Gale and Peeta to calmly realize, No, the game did not start Tuesday night at midnight you silly goose.
But no, panic sets in, I can’t find my remote, the B’s are already down 2-0 and my Cup dreams are being dashed. Seconds later the app sends another notification. Please note the 4th one down.

Whaaaaaa?? Power play goal by Matt Read? Are the playoffs like the Hunger Games this year? Bettman controls the Arena and change the rules at a whim, even morphing 2 teams into one. So now the Bruins are taking on the mutant Washingdelphia Flyertals?

And then it hits. Common Sense, full alertness, and the realization that Apps get glitches. The Bruins are not playing right now. The Caps are not winning. The playoffs have not started. Now it’s about 1am. My book is done and the withdrawal hits big time. Luckily this emotional rollercoaster caused by the Bruins Marketing geniuses has exhausted me and I drift off to sleep. But before I’m out completely, I think, What if Marcus Johansson really does scores an even strength goal assisted by Ovechkin at 9:54 to bring the Caps up 2-0 on Thursday… (Insert Twilight Zone music here).

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

Am I the only one that feels like we were just here? Am I the only one that still feels like the boys look weird, because I'm used to them sporting their playoff beards? Well fret not folks, it's time for some playoff hockey.
The season started blah, went OH MY GOD HOW ARE THEY PLAYING THIS WELL, went south fast and hard and brutal, and finally started looking up again.
The boys have rounded into form and are set for a push into the playoffs for another run at Lord Stanley...there's no better time of year. Although fans of the Habs would beg to differ. I can hear their arguments already..."Yeah, but who has the most Cups?" Weak. Have fun swinging those golf clubs.
Several teams were in a dog fight for the final few spots in the Eastern Conference and I'm sure I'm not the only one that is surprised our boys will be facing the Caps. We were all mentally preparing ourselves for the Senators. Alas, it's the Caps. Here are my thoughts, in no particular order.
-The Bruins had problems with Washington this year. They couldn't seem to string together good efforts against them for some reason. The thing I love about the playoffs is that the regular season means exactly JACK....SQUAT. Throw everything out the window because it's not worth a goddamn thing.
-Stamkos got his 60. Malkin got his 50. The Bruins had multiple players score 20 plus goals. It's this depth that had them winning the Cup last year and I have no doubt it will be a boon once again. Patty/Seguin/Marchand have been their normal reliable, point-producing selves. Lucic/Krejci/Whoever have been up and down, but Krejci turns into a beast in the playoffs and I'm hoping that Looch won't fall asleep like he did last year. Kelly/Rolston/Pouliot have had some crazy chemistry in the last few weeks.
-Washington's goaltending has been struggling all year and it looks like they are facing issues for the playoffs. The Bruins got through what was one of the most jacked up scenarios in Boston goaltending history that I can remember (Timmy obviously not on his game, Tuukka hurt, Turco coming in, Khudobin being injured and then playing). Timmy appears to be back, letting up only a handful of goals over the stretch. Just like last year, as goes Timmy, so go the Bruins. He will be playing every game unless something happens.
-Finally, the key point to the series: Ovechkin. He had a mere-mortal year, not even breaking the 40 goal mark. This would be nothing to scoff at for any player, but he's set the bar high over his career. The Caps have yet to have playoff success with Ovechkin on-board and it's just about to the point of San Jose and Joe Thorton. The guy (normally) plays like a god in the regular season and then pulls a Houdini and dis-a-fucking-ppears in the playoffs (just like the Sedin sisters did in the Cup final). Ovechkin is one more bad postseason away from being officially labeled as one of these players until he wins a Cup. This could go either way. He could come out like a raped ape and tear things up or be frustrated by the two studs that wear #33 and 44 on the Bruins blueline. Ovechkin has had difficulty producing in the playoffs and he's never faced off against these two guys. They turned into absolute gods last year (Seidenberg especially, because I don't think anyone had any idea he could play like that) and I'm thinking they are going to do the same this year. Chara is his normal dominating self and I'm curious how Ovechkin will stand up to the pounding he's about to take. There remains no team in the league that can stand toe to toe with the Bruins and the playoffs lend itself to this time of toughness. Fights will be down (but when they do happen are generally spectacular) but the physicality will be that much higher. Ovechkin is one of those guys that likes to try and throw his body around...but how will he respond when he is ground into the boards on each and every shift by every player on the ice? If nothing else, he'll take stupid penalties (we've seen this in the past) and the Bruins will be on the PP...which may not be a good thing, now that I think about it.
Regardless, it's time for playoff hockey. The boys that are close (McQuaid, Boychuk) will get some extra time and I'm sure we'll see them at some point.
And on a side note, the Pens/Flyers series is going to be some nasty hockey. Ol' Captain Whiny Pants (Crosby) better keep his oft-concussed head up.
LET'S GO YOU BASTARDS, IT'S TIME TO RESUME THE MARCH!!!
Go B's.

Finish Strong

Here's a scary thought: even as horrible as the Bruins have been playing for the last two months, they are still in playoff contention. The tear they went on from November to January set them so far ahead of everyone else in their division that they could afford to go to sleep for the next two months (which, though not preferable, is exactly what they did). I had no problem with a slump, as long as it didn't last too long and continue into the playoffs. The Bruins got so used to scoring goals by the bushel and winning games 6 to 1 that they forgot how to deal with adversity, leading them to forget how to dig deep to gut out a goal with time winding down.
But this stretch of barely .500 hockey has gone on for far tooooooo long. Little things that are easily overshadowed by huge victories become the focal point for everyone to stare at. That, coupled with both Tuukka's injury and Timmy's sudden mere mortal play, exposed a chink in the armor that is Bruins hockey.
For the most part, the injury bug has left the Bruins alone for the last few seasons. A few weeks ago, players were dropping like flies. Horton, Bergeron, McQuaid, Pouliot, etc. etc. etc. These guys are no doubt still banged up, and it's only going to get worse. Playoff hockey is some of the most brutal in all of sports.
Couple things:
-I thought that the 8-0 assrapery the Bruins put on the Leafs would help them shake the funk. Yes, it's just the Leafs, but a win like that can make guys remember what it's like to score and score and keep on scoring. It can help them regain confidence and have some fun instead of dreading coming to the rink. They've played a little better since then, but questions persist.
-It comes out that Timmy has been battling a virus, which could account for his recent play. I know what it's like to do my job feeling like shit and I can only imagine what it's like to try and stop a puck that's being ripped in your direction at over 90 mph about 30 times a game. That being said, the Bruins defense had/has become a shadow of its former self. It got so bad that Corvo is a healthy scratch (I don't want to pile on, but thank fucking christ), and Chara and Seidenberg are being paired together. It's one thing if those two get together when playing against someone like the Penguins. It's an entirely different matter when the team is just trying to right the ship.
-Caron's play has finally picked up, but remains as spotty as an older woman's period. He just about fucked his team HARD last night, taking a penalty with about 4 minutes left in the 3rd. If it had been a double minor, I think we would have seen a different result. Yes, Timmy played an outstanding game last night, but again, questions persist.
-Good to see that Rolston has settled in and is producing. I'm still a bit surprised that the PP continues to struggle, as Rolston can help run the point just like Bergeron. This may go away whenever Peverley returns and shakes the rust. Though still surprisingly quick for his age, Rolston has lost a step and a big increase in minutes might mean that his play slips.
-Timmy has hit the amount of games played that Chiarelli spoke of before the season. It doesn't help that he's started so many in a row. He will once again be the number one goalie heading into the playoffs and he plays his best when he's had some rest (no shit). The Bruins will have to figure something out before the season ends. Does Turco get some time? Do they call up the healed Khudobin for some games? This wouldn't be an issue if they weren't in a dog fight for the lead of the Northeast with the suddenly hot Senators. All of it could have been avoided if they hadn't pulled a Rip Van Winkle and passed the fuck out for the better part of thirty games.
-Does anyone else feel that Seguin is trying to be too cute when he's rushing the puck? He's fine if he's already in the zone and someone passes it to him, but I've noticed that if he has one man to beat, he's pulling a Kessel and trying this one move over and over, which results in a mitt to the face and the puck quickly cleared back out. The kid remains fast as fuck and defensemen are aware of this. He always cuts to the outside. Maybe go middle? I don't know.
-Good to see that the Bruins locked Thornton up for two more years. I bristle when the idiots at The Hockey News call him a goon. Yes, he fights. He fights frequently. To me, a goon is Colton Orr. Donald Brashear. Jody Shelley. They get four to seven minutes a night and are a liability at all times, whether it's with their play with the puck or from taking stupid penalties. That asshole Pierre McGuire always says "Thornton's out there, running around." Thornton does not run around. His line consistently puts forth outstanding effort. They're not scoring like they were last year, but that's okay. Thornton is a guy that will call players out when they're coasting. His efforts keep everyone honest. He was rewarded for it. Love the guy.
The west coast swing continues tonight against the Ducks. Here's to hoping the Bruins string several victories together and enter the playoffs with the right mindset.
With so few games remaining, now is the time to get back into the good habits.
Go B's.

Seriously, What's Happening?

If I were a fan of the Jets or even the Leafs (just threw up in my mouth AND had the urge to listen to Justin Bieber), the last month or so of hockey would have been okay to watch. However, I actually have a set of testicles and I cheer for the Bruins...though there hasn't been much to cheer about lately by Boston standards.
The goals dried up. The goaltending was shaky. They've been shutout in their last 73 games. The physical play wasn't there. The boys were coasting, resting on their laurels and all of the points that they got early on in the season, when they were playing like the Stanley Cup finals were just going to be a formality and they should just be presented with the Cup right now.
Oh, how times have changed.
Remember when the Bruins would head into the 3rd period up by several goals? Yeah, me neither. It's been that long.
Normally the All-Star break is a good time for the team to go their separate way for a few days, heal up (or damage your liver in Vegas) and prepare for the final push. It couldn't have come at a better time for the Bruins.
It didn't work.
The team that was just entering a tailspin came back and played some of the least inspired hockey I've ever seen from this current squad. Where the fuck were the Timmy and Tuukka that we know? Gone were the amazing saves and solid consistency from the goalies, the "get me one goal and I'll do the rest" that was so prevalent when they went on their insane tear. Gone were the goals that made it look like Bruins had set their opponents on the NHL 94 retard settings.
Things have looked just a bit better as of late. The Bruins were playing so well that we Bruins fans (even though our team is the current Cup champ) were waiting for the other foot to drop, as we've been kicked in the nuts time and time and fucking time again.
A team playing that well, that isn't used to battling through adversity (injuries, hot goalies, etc.) scares me come playoff time.
Here's what I'm hoping:
-The Bruins will pull their heads out of their asses and get back to their physical ways, Shanahan and his arbitrary suspensions be damned. I gave the guy a clean slate at the beginning of the year, but he's fucked up in several instances that has now soured my opinion. I'm not going to whine and bitch about it, but it's there nonetheless. The game against the Canucks marked the beginning of the slide for the Bruins. I don't think that's a coincidence.
-Timmy and Tuukka will reclaim whatever they need to once again form the best duo in the league. Timmy has his opinions and Tuukka was quoted as saying he wanted to play more. Both items are distractions in their own right. Suck it up and do what's best for the team.
-I thought Chiarelli said it best when he dumped Kampfer, saying that he had lost his "swagger". This rings true for the entire team. The boys used to come onto the ice like they had 9 inch cocks and huge, pulsing balls. Opponents would piddle quietly into their hockey shorts and feign injuries. This has to come back. Play like you're the Stanley Cup champs, for fuck's sake.
-I don't want to pile on, but I'm going to. Corvo has to sit. The fact that the Bruins had to pick up two defensemen at the trade deadline says it all. Corvo has not been as advertised and he's a goddamn liability. The last game and his multiple turnovers just cemented my thinking that he needs to be watching from the pressbox. Sorry, Joe. It wasn't fun while it lasted.
-Zanon has played one game and I'm already loving the dude. Seidenberg 2.0. I'm down with that. Rolston has lost a step or two, but I still like the guy as well. I think we'll be seeing him on the point during power plays. He might just have the Recchi magic. Time will tell.
-The indestructible Johnny Upchuk proved that he is actually mortal and went down with a concussion on one of the hardest hockey hits I've ever seen. Some people were saying that Neil was faking injury so Chara wouldn't tear him apart, but anyone that has watched Neil play knows that he would stand their and fight if he could. Upchuk sounds like he's healing well and should be back soon...
-...but Horton is still watching from afar. I've almost gotten used to not seeing his simian looking face skating around out there and I'm not okay with that. Heal up, kid.
-Oh yeah, and Corvo has to sit.
-Claude is looking pretty fucking smart with his line changes the other night. He finally got Krejci to wake the FUCK UP and play some hockey. The Bruins cannot afford to have/let Krejci sleep through hockey games. Patty/Marchand/Seguin can't do all the scoring. The scoring buffer that the Bruins had last year isn't quite there, as the 4th line, though playing their normal solid hockey, hasn't produced the same amount of goals this year. An active Krejci is just that much more important to the success of the team. Even Lucic looked reenergized, busting down the boards like a fucking Serbian freight train to set up one of the goals. If that fucker keeps his feet moving, guys get the fuck out of his way. It's already proven that he's thought of as one of the toughest players in the league and you know for damn sure that any defenseman that sees him busting down the ice has that somewhere in the back of his mind.
So all that said, sorry for the long layoff. Normally Bruins hockey is a great escape from everything. The last month or so has been like an extended kick in the nuts with a pair of shitkickers tipped with craggy rocks. Here's hoping our boys pull themselves up, get back to that method of play that got them so much success and make a deeeeeeep push into the playoffs.
And as always, regardless of how much frustration I may feel with my team: Go B's.