And the Bruins and Fans Rejoice!

TIM THOMAS. Timmy T has signed a deal with the B's worth aboot 15 million and will keep him in Beantown for 3 more years! I mentioned I love him? Now TT can focus on the Cup and I can sleep at night. Nightmares of the B's letting go of TT and signing EE again this summer have been terrifying.
Now if we can just make the evil enchilada disappear...

Really??

Let me get it out of they way because its burning on my tongue.
THE ONLY GOAL TIMMY LET IN WAS WHEN HE WAS WEARING MANNY'S MASK!!!

Ok, now that's out of the way, I have some questions/comments.

Really, Dumas? You don't have a back up helmet for your goaltender? Really? Manny's mask probably smelled of tortillas and cheese. Would you want to be stuck in that? Really!

Really Savard? You can't get a shot off yet, you are still working on fancy little behind the back passes and drop passes? Really??? Here's a thought. Try skating it in and taking a shot. Goes for you too Krecji. Neely said back to basics, not back to fancy ass dipsy doodle bull shit malarkey. REALLY!

Really Kathryn? Since when do eggplant sweaters with a droopy bow seem like a good idea? I'm really surprised you didn't sport snowmen sweater vests during the holidays. You are a cute girl, but where the F did you get your dowdy fashion sense? And I'm not even really surprised that no one at NESN has told you to spruce up your wardrobe since no one at NESN has introduced Jack to teeth whiteners. But don't you have friends? If mi Amiga were on TV looking like that, there would be an intervention asap. Really.

Really Brick? I normally love you, but the term, "High Compete Factor" is nonsense. Really. You are using it like a catch phrase. Enough already.

Really Boston? You really can't sum up a fucking goal to get a point out of a game against the armpit of America? Stop assuming Timmy can keep posting shut outs. TT should have way more W's in his stats, but unfortunately your inability to score goals for him is unreal. Really. He's going to have to play the rest of the games this season due to the total incompetence of his #2, so the least you could do is give the poor man some breathing room. Did you guys give up scoring for Lent? REALLY!

Really #1 Team in the League? Columbus beat you. You looked like sperm bouncing off a diaphragm when attempting to enter the offensive zone, spinning around like tops in the neutral zone after hitting the wall. I have never seen such a clusterF in my life. You looked like Timbits, not Bruins. Really.

Get yourselves together boys or Ovie's gonna be singing his way to the Cup Finals.

It's Tuukka Time

The B's played well yesterday. The racked up 45 shots and still fell to the lowly Bolts who were able to score on 4 of their 20 shots on goal.

I tried to give Manny a chance, but he has two really bad traits you never want to see in a back up goaltender.

1- He can't just hop into the schedule when needed. He always looks rusty.

2-He makes 4 Million dollars a year.

The B's are at the point where they need to bring up Rask. He's been playing great all year for the Baby B's and is the Bruins best option for a strong back up for Timmy as the B's wrap up the year and get ready for the play offs. Timmy should be able to rest without it meaning an automatic loss. Manny is a head case and only plays well if he's been playing a handful of games. Tuukka is ready and the B's need him. Send Manny down. It's not like anyone is going to grab him from waivers. And if they do, Peace Out Homeboy. This lady will not lose a wink of sleep.

General Soreness + Back Spasms = Hissy Fits?

It's no secret that I don't like Manny Fernandez, so I'm going to go off on a limb with my latest Manny conspiracy theory.

Up until the All-Star team announcements, Manny had been getting pats on the back from fans, press, coaches, etc. He was riding high on these accolades and was given close to equal credit to Thomas as being a big reason for the success of the B's this season. A dynamic duo, both pulling their own weight.

Then Manny disappeared. Within days of Thomas awarded a spot on the All Star Roster. You know, I know, your mother knows, that TT is the best goalie in Boston. Thomas deserved this spot. But if you are a psycho mess of a goalie, I can see how you may not know this.

So Manny's gone. Tukka's up. Manny's locker is gone. Then Manny is back for a day or two and now he's gone again. Either the reason is not disclosed, or he has "general soreness" or back spasms. I feel like that is the stock answer for, he's a fucknut and we don't know what's up with him. And WTF is general soreness? Is he on the rag? You are are getting 4 million a year. Take some Advil and SUCK IT UP.

This happening has also been simultaneous with the B's struggling a bit. Coincidence??? Probably, but I enjoy blaming people I don't like for all the bad things in the world. Time will tell though. Tukka's time with the B's may last longer than you think.

Whaattt???

So I step away from the Bruins for two freakin days to get married and come back to...well I'm not sure what I'm coming back to. I feel like Bush at a spelling bee. It seems as though the Evil Enchilada is back in his fucktard form. Rask is up, EE's name plate is off of his locker (please note that Sturm, who is def out of the season still has his name plate up in the room). Have I underestimated the good vibes of Timmy? Makes sense that as soon as I let Manny off my hate list, he'd do this.

Kessel has been riding his fame and kissing too many skanks and have come down with the Mono. Funny though, because rumors out of Montreal are saying that Price may have the Mono. Perhaps Phillip has been kissing one skank in particular.

Lucic? WTF. Since he is the only B with an "undisclosed" injury, I'm wondering if the Golden Boy in Boston is getting too big for his britches. Needs to be knocked down a few notches by Claude as he did with Kessel last season.

And Claude. Sneaky, Sneaky Claude. This secret spy shit isn't for him, but he's doing his best to cultivate this cloud of mystery over the B's. I don't have much new to say about the Habs as I've been wicked busy just trying to keep up with the B's. Kovalev is still a commie, Kostitsyn's are still ugly as sin, Price is still a bitch. All you need to know.

Regardless of what has or is going down, the B's need to summon the hockey gods and the baby B's called up need to play their shit off. I am headed to this game tonight with my new husband who will be donning a Koivu jersey. (PUKE PUKE). I do need to sew on a letter for him though and will be chanting a hex over at as I go. Here's to hoping the B's prove their depth and that my marriage of 3 days can endure our first B's/Habs game as a married couple.

And for the record, on my wedding day, I found time to down some beers and watch the B's. Salute!

Feel Good Moment of the Day

I am not what most people would consider to be "nice". Most beings in the world, I merely tolerate and the rest I do not. There is a small few who fall into the category of those I enjoy. Some of those would be my fiance, Tim Thomas, Conan O'Brien, Tina Fey, my Pops, Jesus, Cam Neely, and David Boreanez.

The list of those who are not on the list of enjoyable or tolerable are on a list of which shall not be named. This list is far to big to even begin, and for a long time, Manny Fernadez has been on the top of the list.

However recently, my cold thoughts of the Evil Enchilada have begun to warm. Could it be that Christmas has warmed the heart of this Grinch? Perhaps, but I believe that the good vibes of Timmy T have started to absorb into the greasy folds of my once nemesis. I feel this warmth when I hear the EE speak to the press. No longer does he find a way to blame everyone else but himself. No longer are his comments cutting with a negative undertone. He is jovial, Thomasesque, and dare I say accountable? I warm when I see him skate off the ice after a game with his new BFF Timmy T, lauging and smiling all the way.

At first, I was surprised I was feeling this way, but really, if anyone could wipe away evil, team ruining vibes, of course it would be Tim Thomas.

So Merry Christmas Manny Fernandez. I no longer hate you. You're Welcome.

You are at the bottom of my tolerable list, but stick with TT and you may find yourself climbing. Avery, Commies, Hilter, Spencer Pratt, and Tom Cruise, you are still on the list that shall not be named, and unless TT comes into your life anytime soon, enjoy a long run on it. TSN was on the top of thislist, but Finally, FINALLY, they have put the Bruins where they belong, as #1 on the power rankings 2 weeks in a row. Now they are back in the middle of the pack...for now.

Finally, I was going to ignore the fact that I have neglected this blog like a fat red headed step child, but I plead wedding again. Only 10 more days to go and I can finally focus my attention to where it needs to be. The B's.

This is what happens when you Fuck with Jesus.

Sabres fans were punished by the Lord last night for the blasphemy a fan decided to put up on their site.
My Pepe was a wise man and he always told us NOT to pray for the Bruins. He said the Big Guy upstairs has bigger issues to deal with. Besides, the Bruins can handle their own shit. And handle their own shit they did.

With a spectacular win 7-4 win against the Sabres (despite the sloppiness of the Evil Enchilada ) the B's are continuing to put space between themselves and their NorthEast foes.

Friday will be an interesting test, as the B's have had the tendency to play down to the level of shitty teams, I.E Florida Panthers. The below .500 Panthers will not make the play offs, really don't have any notable players, exist in one of the hockey armpits of the world, and shouldn't really have a reason to get out of bed and tie up the skates in the morning. They don't even have any hot guys on the team. Trust me I looked. No eye candy.

However, the today's B's can not be compared to any B's of recent history, so tomorrow night's could go well for the boys in black and gold.

Bruins Bliss

There are so many things I want to say about the boys right now, but my mind is a clusterfuck. My wedding is less than 2 months away, my fiancé is about to take off for a long business trip, and then the holidays are upon us. The only thing I have been able to do besides work, sleep, eat, and plan the wedding, is blissfully watch the Bruins the best hockey I've seen them play in years, like a mental patient with a lobotomy.

The Bruins have been my therapy this season, and while I've supplemented their medicine with Jameson and Nyquil, they are really all I need to get by.

While last night's SO win against was less than blissful due to the 3.8 million penalties called and the complete lack of flow, I still derived some thoughts from my Nyquil'd out, boozed up state last night as I pondered the season this far during the lackluster win.

Timmy. Thomas.
From the Gut to the Garden, you've always been my favorite goaltender. How could they not put him on the ballot? A great injustice of the world.
But maybe this will be a good motivator because it reminds me of when you have a personal crisis and people you didn't know liked you bakes you a Bundt cake or offers to walk your dog. And you feel loved. All of the hullaballoo about the write in campaign will probably give Timmy that same warm gooey feeling inside which will further his confidence and solidify his supreme dominance over Manny and the World. Also showed UVM what's up by stonewalling Patrick Sharp on a Penalty Shot in OT last night. Just to add to the point...

Kessel learning out to Score
Must have stayed up real late this summer and found some juiced up Pro Active infomercial that not only clear up his face, but his path to the back of the net.

Slappy Smurf vs Skeezy Smurf
Savard beating down Avery with his gloves still on was classic. But also a good call. B's pay too much for those hands so break on that skeezball's face. Plus Looch can stick up for himself. Beating someone down with your gloves on only works if you are Chara who took a Blackhawk down last night with just glove slap.

Attending My First Bruins Event while not Employed by the Bruins
I have to admit, I almost didn't go to the Ben and Jerry's signing due to lingering bitterness I had after having my grand illusions my beloved Bruins shattered while working with them. However, I have finally been away long enough to block that out and become a real Fan again. It was definitely the last step in my program, as I am now 100% back on board. Plus the ice cream helped.

B's Vs Dallas
That game was the epitome of all things I love about the Bruins. At one point during the game I looked at my Habs loving fiancé and said, Tell me you aren't entertained. He could not, and for the first time I think he finally got why I loved this team. I think this is as far as close as we'll get to a mutual understanding of each others hockey views, but for me, it was huge.

Marco Sturm as a Cougar, not a dried up MILF, but a real one.
I love the new We Want it As Bad as You commercials, but Marco roaring at the end is a bit much. Plus it sounds like a Cougar, not a bear.

Hub Hockey
Best discovery of the summer. It's nice to know there are people in Boston who give a fuck about the Bruins and can talk about them for 3 seconds without any Red Sox talk. Plus their Photoshop's of Phillip make me laugh.

B's Vs Habs
Tonight, the B's are in the best position to finally beat these MFs. I have been eagerly awaiting this game all week and because I want to be more lucid, I will only have booze or Nyquil. Some things are meant to be seen with a clear mind.
Goaltending tonight? Better be Thomas. I'm not even reading the Boston papers today because if I see that the fucking rotten chalupa is starting, I will flip shit, punch a coworker, get fired, and have to face this fucking shit economy unemployed.
Thomas will play. The Bruins will score goalS and Lucic will beat down Komo. Finally.

Who's #1? Timmy's #1

Julien, being the diplomat he is, all but said, Timmy T is number one. He will get his third start in a row tonight, leaving Manny where he belongs: on the bench.

Is Manny happy with that? Let's look at the facts. It is known around the league that he has a bad attitude, plays the blame game, and his own uncle didn't want him. Think he's happy sitting there, playing #2? Heck no, and Julien's statement in the Herald today seems to be doused in a bit of vinegar. I'm thinking Julien's had a pissy Manny on his hands as the B's travel the prairies of Canada.

Thomas vs. Kiprusoff should be a great match up, as he was able to handle Roberto well against the Canucks Tuesday night. Thomas really couldn't do anything better against the Flames tonight, but the rest of the B's need to step it up a notch and do one thing: Score dammit! More than one fucking goal. There is no NHL goal limit, please feel free to rack em up. Timmy can't get any better unless he starts shitting out golden pucks after every save to give to starving children in Africa to sell for food.

Who's the most grossly overpaid player(s) on the B's?? Hmmm...

Tonight as the B's face the Habs in Montreal, I'm more concerned about their team salary. Seems as though a trade is imminent, and Schafer seems like the most obvi candidate for me. He just doesn't fit. And Manny. Fucking Manny. How does that man hold up his head and look his teammates in the eye walking into that locker room? For that matter, Peter must feel the same. 2.1 mil? What the F have you done?

There are players who are worth their weight in gold making peanuts compared to both of them. But who's the most over paid? Goes with out saying, 4.3 million is disgusting for a has been, mindfucked, shitty goaltender. Put the douchebag on waivers. Who is going to want him? (BTW, I did pull my t-shirt away from him at the signing and said, no thank you).

He is dead weight and fucking up the cap. Wheeler/Rask will take up 6 mil alone to sign. In addition, word on the street has thrown around PJ and Phil's names a bit. I will be livid if either are traded. PJ shows up for EVERY game. Plus he wears purple suits with pink pinstripes. That's hot. And Phil will be another Brad Boyes if traded away. They shouldn't have to pay for the fact that Fernandez and Schafer are dead weight and eating up a shit ton of salary space.

But, going back to tonight's game, my Pops will be there and I pray that he doesn't have to sit through their gay goal song even once. Unfortunately that won't happen though. Fucktard is starting, and despite Ryder getting a hat trick tonight, this is going to be a tough one for the B's.

GO BOSTON

Fuck the economy...

Who cares that WaMu just got bought out and the Dems and GOP are squabbling over the bailout...Savard and Ryder aren't "clicking" (after playing 2 games together)! The Bruins are deep into the preseason and Savy and Ryder still haven't generated many scoring chances. Time to signal the collapse, sound the sirens, beg for a bailout, and lose interest....blah blah blah.

In the spirit of the B's being the red headed step child of Boston sports, this popular attitude of finding some little issue quickly and use it as your reason to not show interest in the Bruins this season.

However, being one of the few New England faithful who actually gives a fuck about the Bruins, could care less about Tom Brady, and is soooo over the Red Sox, I would just give them a few more games to find some chemistry during the handful of pre season games left. Or Julien could God Forbid, change up the lines??

Anyway, I will finally get to see the B's first hand this season tomorrow when they take on Washington. All signs are pointing to Ovechkin playing who always seems to bring the nasty when playing Boston, but luckily our D is pretty solid right now. Something I haven't been able to say in some years now.

Timmy T made his first preseason start with a loss last night (against Detroit). Boston Herald's Harris said he looked shaky, but he did redeem himself quickly by stating loud in clear that Timmy T is the Bruins NUMBER ONE GOALIE. Hear that Manny? TIMMY T NUMERO UNO.
Yes Manny had a win, but lets compare the numbers shall we?

Thomas - GAA 4 Saves 36 Save % .900
Stupid - GAA 2 Saves 10 Save % .833

I'm one of those people who believe good will prevail in the end, and good is Timmy T.

Finally tomorrow night we get the pleasure of NOT having to look at the rainbow bangs of Rob Simpson and will test out a new rink side commentator, Naoko Funayama. Not gonna lie, the name concerns me. I'm a Vermonter, I'm allowed to be a little narrow with my stereotypes.

B's vs Dee-Troy-It again tonight. Looks to be Manny in net. God help us.

And for the record, I blame Manny Fernandez for the US Economy's recent collapse.

God Bless America.