And the Daytime Emmy goes to....THE HABS!

I know I should be concentrating on the glorious B's and their continued success and dominance of pretty much everyone, but having being married to a Habs fan and living much much closer to Montreal, I've become glued to the train wreck called the Canadiens.

I really thought that being in the city Montreal the day they officially became awful (February 15th, 2009) would be the highlight of this trainwreck, it actually came this morning while listening to Team 990 on my way into work.

Les Habs are unfolding like Days of our Lives had an illegitimate child with General Hospital. And the latest on As the Habs Burns brings us a story of two Belaroooooshin brothers who apparently looooves the nose candy. While Carbonneau is mixing up the lines, they are doing lines. While Price clears the powder out of his crease, they are clearing powder off their noses. Each time the Ref blows the whistle, the Tits brothers think about blowing some rails. Oh man, I could go on all day. Remember when the Habs biggest problem was benching Kovelev?

I'm not one to really relish in the demise of other, but please, I am a B's fan and only human. So as I knock back my coffee this morning and indulge in some maniacal laughs, I begin to leave the Habs where they belong, in the past, and look forward to the redonk late winter/spring season that they B's are about to put on us.

GO BOSTON.

Where are the Big, Gay Waldo's?

When running a business and generating ideas, nothing should be off limits. Brainstorming wild, crazy, ideas is where great ideas are born. However, there must also be a step in that process in which someone says, "that is the worst idea ever", and said idea is thrown out.

Apparently, the Canadiens did not have that filter working while selecting yesterday's jersey. They were ugly, stupid, and almost gave me a seizure. I had to sit really still on my couch to prevent throwing up. It also proved that the Kostitsyn's COULD be uglier. However, the fact they looked like clowns just added to the B's new dominance over this previously unbeatable team. Also evident was the lines being drawn. Obvi Kovi is not happy. Carbo took his C back (tear). Team 990 is also suggesting that this rift goes beyong Commarade Douchebag and extends to all the Commies. The Russians and the rest of the team are not getting along. That'll help them get back on top! (Cue,the Habs collapse in five, four, three, two...)

But enough about them. Timmy was back in his natural form, no longer looking tired and shaky as he did against NJ. And my love for Thornton just keeps on growing. All enforcers who are being edged out of the new NHL need to study his every move. He is a fighter, he is our goon, but he's unbelievably smart about when and where he uses this tool. He has also used this edge to get himself to the net. No other team in the NHL plays their 4th freakin line on a regular shift like the B's and that alone is finally, finally making me think...dare I say it...The B's may very well win the Cup this year. Oh man, tingles.

On a side now, I no longer feel like crazy about my theories about the Evil Enchilada. On Thursday night's broadcast, Jack Edward's said Manny had gone in for back surgery. I have DVR and rewound it three times. I was not dreaming it. On Saturday however, in the Globe, Manny was at the Garden, doing an interview and said he had a knee issue, "obviously from last year". So this little As the World Turns saga really get more odd as the days pass, but who the fuck cares where Manny is as long as he stays away from the rink. I heart TT and Tukka.

Begin/Carbo/Habs Fans: Stop Whining

Stevie, please stop crying because a big mean man hit you. You are a vet, you are a "tough guy" in Queeb standards, so when a guy bigger than you comes after you, don't cry about it with your coach after the game. Be a man, stop being a bitch.

In a brighter note: Patrice!
Words to not describe how happy I am seeing him back in black.

On a retarded note: Manny. Yeah, yeah, you won, but you faced 10 shots. Big whoop.

On a false sense of hysteria note: Listening to 990 and Habs fans are already freaking out. Whining about the pressure of just being the Habs, pressure of 100th celebration, how it will lead to a collapse, yada yada yada yada, blah blah blah.

Chill out people. You still have a great team. Don't jump off the Pont Champlain if they lose big in a game. The sun will still rise, Kovelev will still have a perfect golden mullet and the Kostisyen brothers will still be ugly as hell. Take some xanex and relax.

U-S-A!

Tim Thomas started in net for Team USA in their first IIHF game against Latvia with 24 saves in a 4-0 win. In USA's second game, Timmy T faced an agonizing 12 shots. Lone Slovenia goal was scored by Anze Kopitar, who handcuffed Thomas with his ugliness. Also during the game, Kopitar was nailed into the boards by Bag Ala Douche, Keith Ballard, who received a 10 minute unsportsmanlike penalty for the nasty hit. Kessel, Phil Kessel, What, tallied a hat trick in USA's 5-1 win over Slovenia in the IIHF. This event poses two questions.

1) Try scoring a fucking hat trick with a B on your chest. (I guess that is more of a statement)
2) Slovenia is a country?

US takes on Canada next on Tuesday. Most of Canada's eyes should be on this match seeing that Canada's hopes and dreams of a Canadian team winning the Cup this season were shattered, destroyed, obliterated, smashed, ruined, broken, and demolished by the Habs second round exit.

Speaking of retards, now that the Habs are out of the playoff scene, the Sagging Tits and the Flying Mullet will be joining team Belarus. This is Sergei's first appearance in the Worlds, and boy, he is still ugly. The utter failure of the Hab's playoff run also gave a boost to the Czech team as they will be adding Tomas "the little girl" Plekanec to their roster.

Updates to follow.

USA

Running Tally
Thomas: 2
World: 0