U-S-A!

Tim Thomas started in net for Team USA in their first IIHF game against Latvia with 24 saves in a 4-0 win. In USA's second game, Timmy T faced an agonizing 12 shots. Lone Slovenia goal was scored by Anze Kopitar, who handcuffed Thomas with his ugliness. Also during the game, Kopitar was nailed into the boards by Bag Ala Douche, Keith Ballard, who received a 10 minute unsportsmanlike penalty for the nasty hit. Kessel, Phil Kessel, What, tallied a hat trick in USA's 5-1 win over Slovenia in the IIHF. This event poses two questions.

1) Try scoring a fucking hat trick with a B on your chest. (I guess that is more of a statement)
2) Slovenia is a country?

US takes on Canada next on Tuesday. Most of Canada's eyes should be on this match seeing that Canada's hopes and dreams of a Canadian team winning the Cup this season were shattered, destroyed, obliterated, smashed, ruined, broken, and demolished by the Habs second round exit.

Speaking of retards, now that the Habs are out of the playoff scene, the Sagging Tits and the Flying Mullet will be joining team Belarus. This is Sergei's first appearance in the Worlds, and boy, he is still ugly. The utter failure of the Hab's playoff run also gave a boost to the Czech team as they will be adding Tomas "the little girl" Plekanec to their roster.

Updates to follow.

USA

Running Tally
Thomas: 2
World: 0