Friday, May 9, 2008

Lesser of evils

Although my interest in the playoffs has diminished quite a bit, my love for hockey overall keeps me paying attention. It's also boring to have no one to root for, so I am going to root for Pittsburgh. Why you ask? Because I hate them the least.

Detroit: Detroit is like that really hot girl in your dorm in college who all the guys loved and didn't gain the freshman 15, the kid in calculus who ALWAYS knew the answers and stifled giggles when someone said, "I still don't get it", and meathead jock who won all the awards and got all the tail, rolled into one mass of obnoxiousness. And Babcock getting a nod for the Jack Adams? Really? I could have coached that team to Cup. But by all means, if you are the kind of sports fans who roots for Tiger Woods, The Yankees, etc, whose gear is readily available in stripmalls across the US, then the Red Wings are for you.

Dallas: If Ribeiro was on fire, not only would I not piss on him to help put it out, but I'd throw an 8 month old Christmas tree soaked in propane on him. Enough said.

Philadelphia: Steve Downie, Jesse Boulerice, Randy Jones, Scott Hartnell, Bobby Clarke. All a bunch of thugs who don't deserve to play the game.

Pittsburgh: Fairly non offensive. Has hockey's golden boy who happens to remind me of Andy Samberg whom I love. They were also featured on Sudden Death . Any team that shows up in a Jean Claude Van Damme movie can't be bad, right? Although I occasionally get flashbacks of Ulf and Jagr and start to twitch a bit...

So there you go folks. Pittsburgh is the least offensive team left in the the playoffs. So I give them a half hearted, Go PENS!
In the meantime, I encourage Sidney to keep up with the shirtless photo shoots. His man/boy pecs are oddly enough appealing to me.

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