Thursday, October 30, 2008

Who's #1? Timmy's #1

Julien, being the diplomat he is, all but said, Timmy T is number one. He will get his third start in a row tonight, leaving Manny where he belongs: on the bench.

Is Manny happy with that? Let's look at the facts. It is known around the league that he has a bad attitude, plays the blame game, and his own uncle didn't want him. Think he's happy sitting there, playing #2? Heck no, and Julien's statement in the Herald today seems to be doused in a bit of vinegar. I'm thinking Julien's had a pissy Manny on his hands as the B's travel the prairies of Canada.

Thomas vs. Kiprusoff should be a great match up, as he was able to handle Roberto well against the Canucks Tuesday night. Thomas really couldn't do anything better against the Flames tonight, but the rest of the B's need to step it up a notch and do one thing: Score dammit! More than one fucking goal. There is no NHL goal limit, please feel free to rack em up. Timmy can't get any better unless he starts shitting out golden pucks after every save to give to starving children in Africa to sell for food.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Leafs to Blow big time in Boston tonight

I have a hate list. This is in random order.


My grandmother views the word hate as the worst swear. She said you never hate anyone but the devil. Well to me, the Habs, Leafs, Rangers, and Flyers are agents of the devil.

While the list is random, these teams rise and fall on my list depending on the year. This current year my hate list is as follows:


Today I focus on the hatred for the Leafs since the take on the B's tonight.

I hate them for three reasons. I can't stand all the bitches on their team, (even though Darcy Fucker/Mats being gone helps a bit). I can't stand their retarded fans. They make Terrence and Phillip look smart. And finally I hate that they get so much media coverage, air time, etc even though they are horrible. Plain and simple. And until recently, I thought they all believed they were the best even when sucking pond scum. While I believe this to be true in most cases, I did stumble upon a site which proved that some Leaf fans have come to their senses.

So tonight I hope the Bruins play with as much hate as I feel for the Leafs and give Kaberle a reason to have cheeks that red.

To finish this hate filled post, I feel I must end with Love because, LOVE after all is the theme in my day.

I LOVE the fact that their superstar Jeff Finger is on the IR. Muhahahahaha.


Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Apparently one constant failure/pit of despair is not enough...

The Toronto Maple Leafs, or the "Laffs" as many call them, are a constant disappointment to rabid hockey fans in the greater Toronto area. Once, the heralded team in O Canada, the Leafs are slowly drifting into red headed step child territory while the Habs rapidly becoming Canada's team. So why, one might ask, would you want to double the agony. Well today, TSN reports that the city of Toronto is looking to do just that. Perhaps they want a fresh start, perhaps they are into S & M, or perhaps they are just that dumb.

So here's to you, America's Hat ,keep striving for okness. There are a couple ex high school hockey coaches in the area who need work, good GM material. Let me know if you need their contact info for the new team.

Monday, October 20, 2008

So close......

So it's been awhile, but here I am. I just returned from a wedding in the greater Toronto area. It's always fun going up there, as every single town has an OHL team or is the homestead of some (sometimes several) NHL players. It's also great to talk to Leaf fans who realize that their team sucks goat balls. I take every opportunity to rub this in their collective faces.

I'll say this: if you haven't had the opportunity to attend a Portuguese-Greek wedding, DO IT. It's a great time and you won't be disappointed.

But enough about that.

I was excited as hell tonight to plant my ass on the couch, as it meant that I was out of the car after an eight hour drive and the Bruins were to finally take part in their home opener.

Random thoughts:

-I couldn't stop laughing when they managed to forget to announce Mark Stuart. He could be seen standing in the runway, slipping roofies in the drinks of unsuspecting interns. He came out like a raped ape (no fratboy pun intended on that) and actually played well.

-I'm starting to think that Chuck Kobasew is as fra-jee-lay (it's a major award!) as an early-blooming flower. It seems that if you look at him crossed-eyed, he goes down with a groin or fracture somewhere in his leg. And he still looks like the kid from Jumanji.

-Ol' One Nut Kessel continues to find the back of the net. I think he actually spent some money on Xbox Live and bought some new moves. Good to see.

-Looch seems to realize that he has yet to grow Gretzky hands and that he needs to keep banging bodies in the corner. Orpik didn't seem to like the way he was assaulted in the corner by him, but he wisely decided to keep his gloves on. Maybe they're sewn to his jersey ala Sean Hill. Though entertaining, it's never good to watch a product of the American collegiate system going toe-to-toe with a tough Canadian boy.

-Savvy had a nice little purse-swinger with Crosby. He better watch his back; I heard that Betteman already dispatched a hit squad to take him out after he DARED to touch the annointed. Also, Savvy appears to have the physique of a possum. I think that when he retires, he'll immediately gain sixty-three pounds, like Brett Hull has. Have you seen him lately???

-Ference continues to impress me. Good to see him getting quality time. Fucker's got a cannon, too.

-Wideman makes me wonder why the B's gave him all that money.

-Ryder appears nervous. Good to see that he is still cocking his stick waiting for those sweet passes from Savvy. Murray would have gone down with a torn groin already.

-Speaking of Muzz, I think I saw him in Brampton this weekend at an offramp near the 401 holding a sign detailing the savings that could be found at an area furniture store.

-TIMMY! That is all.

-Manny looked nervous, as I think there was a group of Border Patrol agents sitting behind the Bruins' bench.

-Thornton, who I would immediately shoot on-sight if I stopped him and saw him and his trucker mustache unfold out of a car, had a quick go with Godard. He left his balance in the locker room. They'll meet again.

-Malkin is in the running for ugliest Ruskie with Ovechkin. Seems that orthodontics aren't a priority in the land of the sickle and hammer. He should ask Comrade Kovalev for the number of a good teeth guy.

-Crosby is a woman. I'm pretty sure he would draw my Pepe's ire, similar to the way Pavel Bure used to. "Look at those lips! They're so pretty! He isn't a real hockey player!"

All in all, a very entertaining game from the boys. It might just be the best birthday week ever, as they play three games in the next four nights. Hopefully they'll grab a few points.

Until next time.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Marriage: Already ruining my life

So not only did I have a chance to go to tonight's game against the B's and Habs, but I can't even watch the game. Tonight marks the start of our Pre Cana course. Apparently we will learn how Jesus will save our marriage and how not to use birth control and have 40 kids. We may need divine intervention however, if this marriage between a crazy B's fan and Habs fan is going to stand the test of time (especially when I begin my plan to turn our children into my own little B's fan army).

Hopefully with the self combustion of the Sox on the horizon, Boston fans will turn their attention to the B's tonight and show them a little love as they take on their nemesis and biggest threat. I hate to say it, but the Habs are freakin good. Really good. Saying that gives me the taste of a sour burp in my mouth, but alas it is true. I've watched their last two games, and they just don't stop. Their offensive is always on the attack. Fuck.

At least Timmy T, who thank the freakin lord, will be starting tonight is used to getting completely hammered with shots. Ryder is hungry for revenge (note photo) and could also be a blessing tonight if he lights it up a couple times. Expect Laraque to be back tonight. Habs will need a big guy on the ice tonight, because if all else fails for the B's, they'll just resort to kicking ass literally. And look for Kovalev's lack of glowing mullet. Sporting a new shorter and someone manlier do, probably due to the fact the Kostitsyn brother's where trying to make him their girlfriend.

Should be a humdinger tonight boys!


Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Who's the most grossly overpaid player(s) on the B's?? Hmmm...

Tonight as the B's face the Habs in Montreal, I'm more concerned about their team salary. Seems as though a trade is imminent, and Schafer seems like the most obvi candidate for me. He just doesn't fit. And Manny. Fucking Manny. How does that man hold up his head and look his teammates in the eye walking into that locker room? For that matter, Peter must feel the same. 2.1 mil? What the F have you done?

There are players who are worth their weight in gold making peanuts compared to both of them. But who's the most over paid? Goes with out saying, 4.3 million is disgusting for a has been, mindfucked, shitty goaltender. Put the douchebag on waivers. Who is going to want him? (BTW, I did pull my t-shirt away from him at the signing and said, no thank you).

He is dead weight and fucking up the cap. Wheeler/Rask will take up 6 mil alone to sign. In addition, word on the street has thrown around PJ and Phil's names a bit. I will be livid if either are traded. PJ shows up for EVERY game. Plus he wears purple suits with pink pinstripes. That's hot. And Phil will be another Brad Boyes if traded away. They shouldn't have to pay for the fact that Fernandez and Schafer are dead weight and eating up a shit ton of salary space.

But, going back to tonight's game, my Pops will be there and I pray that he doesn't have to sit through their gay goal song even once. Unfortunately that won't happen though. Fucktard is starting, and despite Ryder getting a hat trick tonight, this is going to be a tough one for the B's.