Saturday, November 29, 2008

A Night for the Ladies

Usually I always look forward for a game versus Detroit. Good, bad or in the middle, the Bruins always show up for a game against the Red Wings. However, tonight, my mind will not be on the game as I am about to be whisked away by my bridesmaids for a night of debauchery. Tonight is my bachelorette party. While I don't know what is in store for me, I do know that I will not be treated to a strip tease set to Ironman by Aaron Ward, or I'm Too Sexy along with an exotic dance by Marco Sturm, or a seductive number set to Bad to the Bone by Milan Lucic. No the boys will have their hands fulls tonight at the Garden and I will have my hands full of god knows what, god knows where.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Turtle Fight 2008: Lucic and Lemieux?

It appears that someone in the San Jose organization believes that in order to keep their hot streak alive, they must perform some charitable acts to keep Karma happy. Their first act has been to give 43 year old Claude Lemieux a try out on their farm team. The bag ala douche has been playing in China and believes that he is ready to make his way back to the NHL. Perhaps watching Steve "karma's a bitch, hope your hand really hurts" Ott and Sean Avery has inspired him to bring back his own helping of annoying piss-antness.

If we do in fact see Claude make his way into the NHL again, I want to see a rematch of Cammer Bammer and Claude "the Turtle" Lemieux, yet in the place of Cam, a young, angry Milan Lucic.

Call me Crazy but...

I've never been a big fan of TSN power rankings. I can understand them "favouring" Canadian teams, but come on. The Habs are TANKING big time and have been all month. Yet not only have they be able to stay in the top ten, but they rose to #9 this week. So losing a bunch gets you higher in the standings? TSN justifies their loses by stating they haven't lost by more than two goals. Wow. Sorry kids, but if you miss the bus by 2 seconds, you still missed the bus. Teach me the logic TSN, because I am eager to learn your tomfoolery.

I am also convinced that there is some gay Canadian law prohibiting Bruins from making #1. Yes San Jose is good, but the B's should be at #1 this week.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

This is what happens when you Fuck with Jesus.

Sabres fans were punished by the Lord last night for the blasphemy a fan decided to put up on their site.
My Pepe was a wise man and he always told us NOT to pray for the Bruins. He said the Big Guy upstairs has bigger issues to deal with. Besides, the Bruins can handle their own shit. And handle their own shit they did.

With a spectacular win 7-4 win against the Sabres (despite the sloppiness of the Evil Enchilada ) the B's are continuing to put space between themselves and their NorthEast foes.

Friday will be an interesting test, as the B's have had the tendency to play down to the level of shitty teams, I.E Florida Panthers. The below .500 Panthers will not make the play offs, really don't have any notable players, exist in one of the hockey armpits of the world, and shouldn't really have a reason to get out of bed and tie up the skates in the morning. They don't even have any hot guys on the team. Trust me I looked. No eye candy.

However, the today's B's can not be compared to any B's of recent history, so tomorrow night's could go well for the boys in black and gold.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Transition! Game on Versus tonight!

It's one of those rare nights when we get to listen to Brick, yet do not have to deal with the trite, repeating Jack Edwards (also nice to not have to look at his mustard colored teeth). I prefer the Versus shit show to Jack's lines. But incase any of you actually miss his blabbering jargon tonight, please look to these gems below to get your Edwards fill.

-And he sends it down the river
-On the diagonal
-He's looking for transition
-Over and Under, OVER AND UNDER
-Sticks a fork in it
-Inaudible, excited screaming
-Inevitable apology for inaudible, excited screaming after the commercial break.

I miss you Fred. Come back, please....

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Test Subject #2: Rangers

The Bruins are another step closer to prove that their position in the standings is much more than a fluke. After a decisive win against the Habs Thursday night, the stage is set for their next big test just two days later against the red hot, powerful NY Rangers.

Thomas will most likely get the start tonight with another match up of hot goalie vs hot goalie (literally, I'm not gonna lie, Henrik is fairly dreamy). Lundqvist, who is legitmately in 1st place in fan All Star voting, has been great all season, yet still trails Timmy T in Save % (TT 1st in the league) and GAA (TT 2nd in the league). And may I point out for the millionth time, Timmy T is NOT on the all star ballot.

As for the degree of Hate towards the Rangers,it's pretty high. I've never been a big fan of teams who buy heartless players who decide when they want to put forth effort. However, I think the Ranger management is beginning to see the error of their ways because they have put together a team minus their usual Douchebaggery that seems to have more heart and grit.

Yet, regardless of how I feel about the Rangers, the B's will have their hands full tonight. Yet their ability to overcome the mindfuck the Habs had held over them for 12 games, should have them coming out with extra intensity tonight.

Look for TT to continually prove himself, Lucic to still be fired up and come out hitting everything in Blue, and Marcoooo to continue to light it up. D will be hurting a bit with Ference out, hopefully for just two games, although that block sent pangs of pain up my leg. This could be the push Chara needs to pick up his game. The Captain has not played poorly of late, but he has not played like Chara. He needs to step it up and join the efforts the rest of his team is putting forth.

The B's showed their true colors on Thursday. As my Pops says, Neely has his fingerprint all over that team. This the the team Bruins fans have been waiting for.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Simply. Outstanding.

The NHL schedule is a long, torturous affair. 80+ games of high-speed collisions, flying sticks, blades attached to churning feet, and a black, vulcanized object being propelled at ungodly speeds.

Teams go through cycles. Anyone that has played sports knows this. Sometimes everything goes your way. The ball bounces in your favor and it's like everyone can read each other's mind. Other times you feel like a little kid running around with grown men, men that have been playing the game for eons longer than you.

To get too excited about a pretty decent streak (5 game winning streak, 8-1-0 in the last nine) is a bit foolhardy. The ride will come to an end at some point. Players will look like they can't communicate even when they're two feet apart.

A bit of reason and reserve is prudent in a situation like this.

But in the quiet words of the Virgin Mary, "Fuck that shit, Sheriff 25."

Yes, ma'am. You don't fuck around with the Virgin Mary.

Tonight was the most complete effort I have seen from the Bruins in a very long time. I have come to feel as if the Habs are a sort of boogeyman, a spectre that steals into your soul and takes all of your hope, all of your reason to go on. I was recently speaking with a man from Ireland. He was telling me tales of the banshees that parents still use to goad their children into sleep. The Habs had assumed this kind of stature in my mind.

Tonight that came crumbling down. They looked like a weak expansion team, trying like hell to skate with the other guys, but repeatedly falling on their faces. They looked resigned to the fact that they're pretty much going to suck for the next 8-10 years until they build up their draft picks, similar to the Senators.

The game started with Edgecrusher putting a quick, pretty backhander past Price. Thornton has been playing outstanding hockey, as I've previously noted. That fourth line doesn't realize that they're supposed to go out, cycle, bang, cycle some more, and then politely return to the bench. They are relentless. Yelle has found his legs and is showing the skills that he has picked up over his many years in the league.

The B's just never stopped tonight. They kept pouring it on. Kept pushing. Kept skating, hitting, kept the snarl going.

It was phenomenal to watch.

Up to this point, Manny's name has been shit in Boston and in fan nation. He came into a tough situation, with cult hero Timmy playing amazing hockey. He got hurt and never got to prove himself.

Tonight Manny became a Bruin. He stood tall on the shots that came through and gave the boys the reassurance they needed to keep attacking. Tonight, Manny was accepted into my circle. I will never jeer him again. Anyone that is part of a game like tonight's can sleep with my sister.

It was pathetic to watch Georges come to Looch. I read his lips when he was talking. I'm pretty sure he said, "Hey Looch, Komi is a total vajine. Seriously dude, I know. I room with him, and he's always watching Lipstick Jungle and A Baby Story. Just fight me so we can be done with this." It's always sad to see a smaller man trying to fight a larger man's battles.

Finally, finally, FINALLY, I felt the Earth lurch. The fans began screaming and the camera zoomed show Looch pummeling Komi. My heart lifted.

I have seen, intervened in, and been part of quite a few fist fights. There is nothing that makes me angrier than someone that will yap and yap and yap, but just won't throw knuckles. To me, as long as two people are willing combatants, let 'em go.

I think Komi finally realized that if he was going to continue withhis physical play, not only against the Bruins but league-wide, he would have to answer the bell.

Now, I'm not an easily intimidated individual. I've squared-off with all sorts of people in my life. Large, small, fat, scrappy, drunk, drugged, pissed-off. Tonight, you could have given me all the money in the world, any weapon I could think of, with the most advanced body armor available today, and I would not have engaged Milan Lucic. He looked like an animal. That look of wild bloodlust on his face, howling to his team, the opponents, the fans, the World, was truly terrifying.

Words cannot express how much I enjoy having this young man wear the spoked B.

I'll end this now. It's been a bit of a departure from what I normally write, but tonight was a game that deserved a different kind of post. As I stated earlier, the season is long and I'm sure there will be twist and turns.

But what a game. What a night to be a fan of the Boston Bruins.


Lucky 13? B's finally, FINALLY, beat Habs in the regular season. BTW Timmy would have gotten a shut out. To be clear, they won DESPITE the Evil Enchilada (he gave Koivu his goal). And props to Komo for finally dropping the gloves with Lucic. Although it became very clear, very soon why he hadn't til this point.

See you on the 22nd bitches!

Bruins Bliss

There are so many things I want to say about the boys right now, but my mind is a clusterfuck. My wedding is less than 2 months away, my fiancé is about to take off for a long business trip, and then the holidays are upon us. The only thing I have been able to do besides work, sleep, eat, and plan the wedding, is blissfully watch the Bruins the best hockey I've seen them play in years, like a mental patient with a lobotomy.

The Bruins have been my therapy this season, and while I've supplemented their medicine with Jameson and Nyquil, they are really all I need to get by.

While last night's SO win against was less than blissful due to the 3.8 million penalties called and the complete lack of flow, I still derived some thoughts from my Nyquil'd out, boozed up state last night as I pondered the season this far during the lackluster win.

Timmy. Thomas.
From the Gut to the Garden, you've always been my favorite goaltender. How could they not put him on the ballot? A great injustice of the world.
But maybe this will be a good motivator because it reminds me of when you have a personal crisis and people you didn't know liked you bakes you a Bundt cake or offers to walk your dog. And you feel loved. All of the hullaballoo about the write in campaign will probably give Timmy that same warm gooey feeling inside which will further his confidence and solidify his supreme dominance over Manny and the World. Also showed UVM what's up by stonewalling Patrick Sharp on a Penalty Shot in OT last night. Just to add to the point...

Kessel learning out to Score
Must have stayed up real late this summer and found some juiced up Pro Active infomercial that not only clear up his face, but his path to the back of the net.

Slappy Smurf vs Skeezy Smurf
Savard beating down Avery with his gloves still on was classic. But also a good call. B's pay too much for those hands so break on that skeezball's face. Plus Looch can stick up for himself. Beating someone down with your gloves on only works if you are Chara who took a Blackhawk down last night with just glove slap.

Attending My First Bruins Event while not Employed by the Bruins
I have to admit, I almost didn't go to the Ben and Jerry's signing due to lingering bitterness I had after having my grand illusions my beloved Bruins shattered while working with them. However, I have finally been away long enough to block that out and become a real Fan again. It was definitely the last step in my program, as I am now 100% back on board. Plus the ice cream helped.

B's Vs Dallas
That game was the epitome of all things I love about the Bruins. At one point during the game I looked at my Habs loving fiancé and said, Tell me you aren't entertained. He could not, and for the first time I think he finally got why I loved this team. I think this is as far as close as we'll get to a mutual understanding of each others hockey views, but for me, it was huge.

Marco Sturm as a Cougar, not a dried up MILF, but a real one.
I love the new We Want it As Bad as You commercials, but Marco roaring at the end is a bit much. Plus it sounds like a Cougar, not a bear.

Hub Hockey
Best discovery of the summer. It's nice to know there are people in Boston who give a fuck about the Bruins and can talk about them for 3 seconds without any Red Sox talk. Plus their Photoshop's of Phillip make me laugh.

B's Vs Habs
Tonight, the B's are in the best position to finally beat these MFs. I have been eagerly awaiting this game all week and because I want to be more lucid, I will only have booze or Nyquil. Some things are meant to be seen with a clear mind.
Goaltending tonight? Better be Thomas. I'm not even reading the Boston papers today because if I see that the fucking rotten chalupa is starting, I will flip shit, punch a coworker, get fired, and have to face this fucking shit economy unemployed.
Thomas will play. The Bruins will score goalS and Lucic will beat down Komo. Finally.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Gross! He's getting cancer on me!

Yes, I made a cancer joke. Get over it.

The Bruins got over their inability to score more than 2 goals a game last night in a 5-2 win of the Leafs. And obviously Wheeler was not too effected by being wiped by Blake's cancer, as he netted his first career hat trick last night (even though 1 was an ENG, not that there's anything wrong with that...)

Bruins brought on the pressure most of the game, especially early on when it seemed as though the Leafs were avoiding the Bruins zone like a fat girl avoids horizontal stripes. Timmy T was his usual Timmy T self, not that anyone seems to notice (especially the dirty douches that picked the names on the all star ballot). I will be writing in TT on a daily basis, as should. Even my Hab lovin' fiancé can't believe he was left off. Dipietro? Really? He's been hurt all season. And if you want an easy laugh, give me a call and ask me to say his name. I can't. I've practiced endlessly, my fiancé has even tried to help, I just can't say it. I add about 3 extra syllables to his name. For that reason alone, I think he should be left off the ballot. Tim-my Tho-mas. Easy to say, easy to write in.

Saturday night I will be attending my wedding shower, so my attention will not be on the B's/Buffalo game, but I assure you, if there is a television at the venue, they game will be tuned in. And I'm also not wearing anything gay like a plate with bows on my head. Has nothing to do with the Bruins, but I'm just putting it out there.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Fight Nights Are Fun!!!

I was in West Virginia all week. Down there, they live for football. All I know is that I managed to miss two games. I feverishly checked for updates on my laptop, but it's just not the same.

I was stoked to be able to sit down last night and watch the B's take on the Stars. Now, I figured that Sean Avery would be up to his normal tricks; talking smack, being a pain in the ass all over the ice, etc. It's too bad this guy plays that way, because it's apparent that he does have skill.

I had forgotten that the Stars have Steve Ott. He is another Avery, only less known.

Timmy continued his stellar play and the offense finally woke up. It was good to see Sturm respond to getting demoted to the third line. The "fourth" line continues to play great hockey. Thornton continues to show that he can actually play and Yelle is proving that he is this year's Metropolit. He can play anywhere, at any time, and not look out of place.

I almost fucked my back up again springing off the couch after Ference caught Ott looking the other way. I'm pretty sure that Jack Edwards left a nugget in his underwear as well. Great hit and it really livened things up.

I thought that before the game Lucic would finally drop the gloves for the first time this season. Little did I know it would be after Avery cheap-shotted him. It was good to see Savvy pounce on him and deliver a great flying knee as Avery huddled on the ice, looking very much like Claude Lemieux when Cammer Bammer grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and slammed his ass into the boards.

It's too bad these teams won't play each other several more times this year. I think it could be the building of a huge rivalry, different conferences not withstanding.

The situation that broke out after Avery took out Lucic (I hesitate to call it a brawl, as not everyone was swinging) will help draw the team together. Hnidy was swinging for the fences with his dance partner. I'm sure that dude still has a headache after eating the fifteen or so punches Hnidy fed him.

It brought a smile to my face. It reminded me of when the Bruins were a tough, tough team. Remember when NESN came back from a commercial break and Ray Bourque had Mats Sundin on the ice, showing him how to throw huge punches? Sundin had given Bourque a funny face when he was talking to the ref and Ray just lost it.

What about when the B's and Caps had a nice little get-together that ended with Dafoe and Kolzig tangoing around the ice?

Not only entertaining to watch, but these things do wonders for a team's morale and comradeship.

Ference continues to impress me with his skating, toughness, and willingness to jump up in the play.

Great effort by the boys.