If I was God, I would use my powers as such today:
Every player, upon waking up and getting out of bed (after a night of not getting any from the wife/girlfriend), would promptly whack their shin on the wood end table. They would stumble to the kitchen to find that there's no milk in the fridge. Going to start their car, they wouldn't be able to find their keys. After finding them, the car wouldn't start. Upon getting to the rink, they would find that there is no sugar for their coffee, so they have to drink it black. They would then get a phone call from the same wife/girlfriend stating that the toilet on the 2nd floor blew up. During warmups, they would all be looking for their left gloves, which would eventually be found frozen solid in the locker room.
The purpose of this? To put these men in the foulest, most violent and dangerous mood that they have ever been in. Every step is a lesson in taking deep breaths so they don't absolutely explode and murder someone.
NOW CHANNEL THAT SHIT, AND ONCE THAT PUCK DROPS, GOOOOOOOOO YOU FUCKERS. TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT.