Sunday, November 20, 2011

I Ain't Gettin' Him No Fuckin' Bagel

...is what Rick "Sand In My Vagina" DiPietro must have been thinking after he was yanked last night. The only thing rougher than that game for the Isles was the fact that "Let's go Bruins" was being chanted so loud that I thought the Garden had undergone some kind of ghetto-fied transition. How nasty is that arena? The security team wears Limp Bizkit concert-esque shirts (that's two Limp Bizkit references in the last two blogs, for those keeping score at home) and I'm pretty sure players were dodging chunks of concrete falling from the roof after every Bruin goal. If the Olympic Stadium and a dead crack whore had a baby, it would look like that arena.
And the Isles head coach? Jesus Christ. He looks like that asshole that has one too many Budweisers on his monthly "date" at TGI Fridays and then gets arrested in the parking lot later for domestic assault.
How good is our chosen team right now? The test will come this week.
With the "criminal probe" against Chara officially and FUCKING FINALLY closed, the fans in Montreal will let bygones be bygones.
Wait, no they won't. They'll continue to bitch about it and run their marble-filled mouths, booing the boys at every turn. What I'm trying to get at is that we'll see how the Bruins will decide to play in the most hostile of arenas while trying to push their streak to 9 games in a row. To me, this is a huge fucking game. A loss to the Habs tomorrow night wouldn't spell the end of the season that is finally going in the right direction, but it would leave a sour taste in my mouth nonetheless.
They just have to continue to play their hockey. Fuck Subban and the midget with the goatee. Fuck the obnoxious fans that leave if their team goes down by three goals in the first five minutes. Fuck their stupid U2 goal song (What's the difference between God and Bono? God doesn't walk around Dublin thinking he's Bono). And fuck the fact that the Habs are the one team that seem to be able to get into the heads of the Bruins.
The boys have to play focused hockey tomorrow night. They can't get distracted by the fact that they have put on the foil...snicker...and be ready to face..snicker...the badass Sabres...snicker...wednesday night. I'm sure Miller will be up in the press box, all concussed, tossing used tampons at Lucic from seventy feet above.
ANYWAY.
Big game tomorrow night. The boys have to score often and fucking skate. They always seem to hold back and hunker down during the first ten minutes of games against the Habs. I say fuck that. I say skate skate SKATE from the first puck drop and drive those fuckers through the boards. Don't let up and put pucks on net and let's see if Bruins fans can take over the Bell Centre like they did the arena of the Islanders.
Monday night. Bruins versus Canadiens. God and country. Subban and an apparent love of throwing haymakers that make him fall down go boom. Sanchez Kelly and his efforts. Paille and his cage. Chara and his STILL FUCKING CLEAN CRIMINAL RECORD. Seguin and his hot ass, HANDS, I MEAN HANDS. Horty and his nasty wrister. Hall and Oates.
Go B's.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

25, You are on a roll, just like our Boys, and I agree, skate, skate, skate, shoot, shoot, shoot, these games with the Habs make me crazy, well, crazier than usual! I DO NOT WANT THEM TO HAVE A CHANCE TO ole ole, I want their heads aspinnin...and leaving early!
I know a little Frenchman that will be in the rafters for sure....CC and ginger all around plese...Keep your heads up and score two Boys...Keep posting!