Monday, October 12, 2009

Seriously, What. The. FUCK.

I wasn't at the game tonight, but I have it on good information that the above picture is a true rendering of what Tuuka "The Sucking Black Vortex of Self-Confidence Destroying Dastardley Goalieman-ship-ish" Rask looks like in real life.

What's the word? Floundering. Falling on one's face. Fucked out of the gate. Too fucking skinny to stop a puck flying at 12 mph, let alone 90+. Eat a sandwich. Chug a protein shake for fuck's sake. I don't know if fuck is possessive of sake, but in this case, I'm running with it.

Yes, I'm a little drunk. And yes, I looked forward to watching the game tonight. What I didn't expect was the abortion of a hockey game that I saw, yet again. Hey boys, we came back against the Isles, let's just go ahead and go down against the Avs, too! Sounds great, eh?!?!

I'm a little Chicken Little Jack Daniels right now, but please allow me the trangression. I'm part of the blog. I have many leather-bound books. I'm kind of a big deal.

Ah fuck it. The sky isn't falling. A few games in and some kinks have to be worked out. I'm not freaking. Just a little drunk and a little pissed off. As we would call it in Franklin County, "feeling froggy." If I was from Richford, I would go out on my porch and yell until the police show up, at which point I would fight them, stopping only when a well-timed strike from a maglight imploded my left testicle. Ah yes, nothing wrong with a little flashlight therapy.

Go B's.


scott w. gray said...

Oof. Brutal! I feel like we could fatten Rask up by stuffing three or four defensemen into his sweater. God knows, they're doing little else out there. That pile up on the powerplay? Holy cow...I thought the days of guys playing drunk was over.

Sheriff25 said...

Reggie Dunlop: How's it going, Nick?
Nick Brophy # 8 Hyannisport Presidents: I'm drunk.
Reggie Dunlop: Nah!
Nick Brophy # 8 Hyannisport Presidents: I'm not bullshittin' ya. Got stinkin' shitfaced on the bus. Louise left me, and that son of a bitch over there keeps playin' me when he knows I'm shitfaced.
Reggie Dunlop: Jeez, I'm really sorry.
Nick Brophy # 8 Hyannisport Presidents: Anybody throws me against the boards, I'm gonna piss all over myself.

Anonymous said...

Okay, so I know how you feel and I have sworn Uncle Jack off...Last year was the first time in a while that I could watch an entire game without that pit in my know when TT gets that look on his face and you know things are going down the tube or they cut to the bench and the defeated look is on everyone's faces..couldn't stand that and could not sleep at night after watching it...anyway, I know it is early in the season, BUT, can't help it...and, okay, laugh at me, but Number 11 ALWAYS made a huge difference and I miss him, that is all I have to say! Keep up the good work Sheriff 25 and watch that drinking...:)