Can't Muster The Motivation

The "play" of the Bruins as of late has left me wanting more. It's hard to want to write about a team that's playing like this and I'm sincerely hoping that it will change shortly.
They've had a few days off and I were Julien, I would have skated them into the fucking ice. Their lack of effort has been something to behold and I can't believe this is the same team that recently rattled off seven straight wins.
The Leafs made them their bitch on saturday night, and I'm glad I DVRed it. It's rare that I fast forward through a game, but I'm glad I did, as I could quickly go back to tweezing ingrown pubes out of my bikini line. Summer is coming and I want to look goooood.
Couple things:
-I had written that I was not on board with the "Kaberle is the key" train that has been banging around Boston for the last few seasons. Now that he's here, everyone is seeing what he brings. The PP has sunk to new lows and there are really no excuses. Kaberle better wake the fuck up and realize that his bad passes, weak shots and overall lack of chin is making the Bruins a bad team. I didn't expect instant results, but I was expecting some. So far, we've seen jack shit...except for him crying on the bench the other night when Toronto did a montage on the big screen. This is what they traded for???
-I don't know if Timmy is tired or what the fucking deal is, but jesus christ. As goes Thomas, so go the Bruins. Even a dude with a huge dent in his head and a drooling problem can see that Tuukka does not have the confidence that he had last year. Yet, they still play him to try and get Thomas some rest. It's a cycle that's just going around and around. Not good.
-The offense has once again dried up (wow, imagine that) and goals are once again hard to come by. This wasn't an issue earlier in the year, when Timmy's numbers were borderline preposterous, but they aren't winning the one goal games anymore. Even Ryder being scratched for one game failed to get him going. I'm starting to think the coaching staff are out of ideas.
-At least Matt Cooke finally got what's coming to him, at least from the league's stand point. I'm still hoping someone chops his fucking head wide open, but shit in one hand and wish in the other and see which fills up faster, right?
Here's my solution.
On thursday, the Bruins should do their normal pre-game skate. And then when they get back to the dressing room, Cam Neely should walk in. He should yell and scream and howl about what it means to be a Bruin and wear the jersey. He should rant about what it means to play through pain, through sprains and strains and what it's like to spit your fucking teeth out as you skate up the ice with the puck on your stick. He should call every fucking one of them out, challenge them as men, tell them to prepare for battle. Because the game on thursday night...that's going to be a battle. Every one of these guys better keep their heads up and their helmets strapped tight. The Habs are going to be looking for blood. They are going to try and avenge what happened in the last game. I think the game on thursday night is going to say alot about the Bruins chances for a long run into the spring.
Here's hoping they don't turtle, piddle their shorts and show their bellies.
Go B's.