Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Best Month Ever Continues
I'll be making the drive down to Boston tomorrow for yet another game. I'm almost getting sick and tired of going to the Garden to watch the Bruins beat their opponent. Um...yeah...just kidding. HOW THE FUCK COULD THAT GET OLD? If I ever get so jaded as to not get excited to see a live game, please punch me in my newly-grown mangina and push me out of a moving vehicle. I finally get to boo Kessel in person and I've been gargling with honey and lemon tea all week to achieve maximum volume. I'm hoping that maybe I can make his remaining nut drop out of those daisy dukes that he wears, whereby Chara one times it into the net, where it bursts into a million little winged fairies...which I'm sure is what Ol' One Nut is shooting these days. I'm guessing that Tuukka will get the start tomorrow night, as they're going to want Timmy fresh for the playoffs. Hopefully I'm also screaming "Tuuuuuuuuuuu" after every great save he makes instead of "fuck YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU, YOUUUUUUUUU suck". It might make for a long night. Everyone is coming alive as of late and the boys have regained their pimp swagger. Horton is feeling it, Kaberle is feeling it and Chara is feeling it and I'm feeling it. The Bruins are undefeated in the games I've been at this month, and I'm going to go ahead and take all of the credit. Couple things: -Good to see Upchuk getting some goals. That dude plays hard and has a fucking wicked hard shot. -Thornton took a nasty skate up in the face last night. I was glad to see he was okay, but his cyborg skeleton showed through. Shawn, the jig is up. We know that you're a robot sent from the future to help the Bruins whup some ass and win the Cup. And fuck: he's going to have a cool fucking scar. Pain is temporary, chicks dig scars and glory is forever, right??? -Ryder. Fucking Ryder. Enough said. -Seguin/Kelly/Peverley: their line reminds me of those little flies that buzz around, make a shit ton of noise, but don't really do much. They're fucking fast, I'll give them that, but they need to bury some pucks. -I'm guessing that about an hour before game time, Looch will go and piss at strategic spots around the Garden. Vagi-sarek will smell said urine, recognize it as the scent of a man that has beaten his ass several times and undoubtedly turtle, thereby leaving all of the physical play to Phaneuf. -Did I already mention that Tuukka will probably be in net? Fuck. Looking forward to being in the Garden again. I'm thinking about setting up a cot and seeing if they'll just let me move in, at least for the duration of the playoffs. Can you imagine playing Black Ops on the big screen? Dang. Go B's.