Time for drama people

I've noticed that when the Bruins don't play for anumber of days, it becomes like a soap opera cliff hanger for me. Especially when they end on a sour note. Complete with the narrator asking questions at the end of the episode over dramatic, foreshadowing music. So here are the cliffhangers that have been in my head for the past few days. I can't wait for them to be wiped away by a big win over the Kings so I can get on with worrying about other things like the economy, terrorism, and hoping my new marriage makes it through the playoffs.

Will Julien's mini training camp be enough to wake up the slumbering Bruins after their days off????

Will Wideman be able to suck up the rest of his suckiness and NEVER play that sucky again???

Will Fernandez finally eat one of the poisoned burrito's I leave on his porch every night???

Will Chara come back refereshed and satisfied after his days off of eating villagers????

Will Thomas once again prove himself to be the bestest goalie around and lead the B's to the Cup????

Will Wheeler shake off his late season uglies, stay out of the box, and stop turning over pucks????

Will Kessel finally have discovered Pro Active and comes back so confident he net's 50 before the season's end???

Will Wardo feel inspired by his new Rambo style posters and come back as the old Wardo we all know and love???

WILL THE BRUINS PULL IT BACK TOGETHER AND WIN THE CUP????

Tune in to the next episode of Boston Bruins Hockey for these answers and MORE!

Brodeur's St. Patrick's Day Party

I don't know any real Bruins fan who can say they LIKE Patrick Roy. It should be impossible to get those words out of your mouth. It's like saying you liked the bout of staph infection you struggled with in the 90's.
So I have been pretty happy to watch Martin Brodeur climb to the top of the record books and finally overtaking Roy's 551 wins last night. He's much easier on the eyes than Roy as well. And how fitting to do it on St. Patrick's Day.

Congratulations Marty! Now that you have the record, I herby hex you to suck ass the rest of the season and playoffs.

When Wideman sucks, he sucks big time.

Go Big or Go Home. Dennis Wideman lives by this code, yet he seems to go both ways with it. Wideman was a great acquisition by the B's, but man, when he sucks, he SUCKS. Normally, he plays great, has great games, is a great defenseman. But he's had several games this year when his suckiness is so great that I wonder if he woke up with amnesia those mornings and forgot how to play hockey.

The first time this happened this year was against the St. Louis Blues. He should have been awarded assists on several of the Blue's goals. At that point, I chalked it up to nerves going up against your the team that traded you.

Then it happened a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. Don't get me wrong, the B's are a better team with Wideman on it. His name should be thrown around in Norris talk. Plus he's one of the more attractive B's, so it's normally a plus to see him out there. However, it becomes very obvious, very quickly when Denny is having one of those games. Bench him. I'm sure he wouldn't care. On his off nights, he's usually responsible for about 2 of the other teams goals. Many of those off of his own sakes. Save him the guilt and bench him. Throw Hnidy a bone on those nights and we can all wipe his bad games out of memory.

Nesn IS weird.

My husband always goes off about how weird Nesn is and how much he hates them. I never gave it much thought because his one flaw is that he is a crazy Habs fan and figured he was totally prejudice, but although I don't hate Nesn, I recently agreed with one of his statements. It IS weird.

It all started crashing in on me when Jack Edwards Bingo was brought to the attention of viewers. But Jack is just the tip of the quirkiness iceberg that is the current Nesn broadcast team. When you start to really dissect the broadcast and put all the quirks together, it's has really become a top notch comedic performance. Far beyond the simple years of Gord and Dale when the craziest shiznit that went down was Gord spilling things like drinks and M&M's.

Let's start with the obvious. Jack. He's annoying, but lovable I suppose. It is nice to hear his excitement, but I'm starting to think the Bingo hoopla is going to his head. He's trying some new material and it's getting weird. Last night my sister pointed out an off color comment after Axelsson was rocked by a couple senators. "They made a sandwich out of PJ and he was all too happy to be the peanut butter." What does that even mean?? This is even starting to rub off on Brick. He's been saying some weird shit lately too.

Next obvious is KTapp. She's a beautiful girl, but she does everything in her power to camouflage that. She dresses like a dowdy, uptight aunt who get's second hand 80's wear. Awkward bows, First lady jackets, weird lines and darts, and a woman with arms that long should not wear 3/4 length sleeves. I desperately want to submit her tape to What not to Wear. Or take her on a spree down Newbury. Or call up Hazel. She knew how to work it. My most recent theory as to why she dresses this way is that her fiancé is super jealous and asks her to be as busted as possible on the air.

Less obvious is Naoko Funyama. I probably spelt that wrong, but I'm don't care enough to look it up right now. Never did I think there would be someone less appealing rinkside than Rob Simpson. But I was proven wrong. Not only is she sucky at her interviews, but have you noticed that the camera guy NEVER gets her in the shot or always shoots the back of her head? I feel like her team is the AV Club from Quincy high school and she's just doing interviews to air during the daily announcements in the morning. Actually, that's rude. They'd probably do a better job.

Finally, the tension has become more and more obvious. Watching Gord and Millbury "interact" is becoming painful. At first, it was kinda funny, assuming that it was just all in good fun. But now it's like watching a couple on the verge of divorce. You just want to leave the room. They hate each other. Really. Last night as they were looking at all old fight reels, I was expecting the segment to end with Gord calling Mike a pussy and Mike trying to beat him with his shoe. I wouldn't be at all surprised if this did actually go down before year's end. Mike also has some tense moments with Barry, but Gord is Mike's true nemesis.

But just like an annoying little brother, you've gotta love Nesn anyway. Infact, I think these quirks make Nesn even more lovable. You can't hate them, it's like hating a handicapped child. That's wrong.

BTW, pretty excited Boston pulled out a win last night, even though they had me wincing and closing my eyes a lot in the third. Wardo awakening was pretty super as well. Sherriff and I will be at Saturday's game and three things better go down.
1- The Sam Adams must flow
2-I want a green B's hat
3-The Bruins better kick the shit out of the Islanders.

PS. Where in the world is Nifty?

Really??

Let me get it out of they way because its burning on my tongue.
THE ONLY GOAL TIMMY LET IN WAS WHEN HE WAS WEARING MANNY'S MASK!!!

Ok, now that's out of the way, I have some questions/comments.

Really, Dumas? You don't have a back up helmet for your goaltender? Really? Manny's mask probably smelled of tortillas and cheese. Would you want to be stuck in that? Really!

Really Savard? You can't get a shot off yet, you are still working on fancy little behind the back passes and drop passes? Really??? Here's a thought. Try skating it in and taking a shot. Goes for you too Krecji. Neely said back to basics, not back to fancy ass dipsy doodle bull shit malarkey. REALLY!

Really Kathryn? Since when do eggplant sweaters with a droopy bow seem like a good idea? I'm really surprised you didn't sport snowmen sweater vests during the holidays. You are a cute girl, but where the F did you get your dowdy fashion sense? And I'm not even really surprised that no one at NESN has told you to spruce up your wardrobe since no one at NESN has introduced Jack to teeth whiteners. But don't you have friends? If mi Amiga were on TV looking like that, there would be an intervention asap. Really.

Really Brick? I normally love you, but the term, "High Compete Factor" is nonsense. Really. You are using it like a catch phrase. Enough already.

Really Boston? You really can't sum up a fucking goal to get a point out of a game against the armpit of America? Stop assuming Timmy can keep posting shut outs. TT should have way more W's in his stats, but unfortunately your inability to score goals for him is unreal. Really. He's going to have to play the rest of the games this season due to the total incompetence of his #2, so the least you could do is give the poor man some breathing room. Did you guys give up scoring for Lent? REALLY!

Really #1 Team in the League? Columbus beat you. You looked like sperm bouncing off a diaphragm when attempting to enter the offensive zone, spinning around like tops in the neutral zone after hitting the wall. I have never seen such a clusterF in my life. You looked like Timbits, not Bruins. Really.

Get yourselves together boys or Ovie's gonna be singing his way to the Cup Finals.

Congratulations, Manny. You cost your team 2 points today.

Gearing Up For The March

As the puck drops in about 30 minutes, this is going to be brief. Just a couple things.

-I liked the moves at the deadline. Ference and Montador are best buddies, and if the Tree-Hugging Terminator says that Montador is a good guy, he is going to fit in well with the team. Recchi should have been a Bruin a long time ago. He has always played with grit and skill that isn't normally seen on a player of his size. He may be 41, but this guy has a few more years left in him. Have you noticed how thick his neck is?

-A game observing from high-above will be beneficial for Wheeler. No word yet as to whether or not he'll play today, but Julien knows what he's doing. Some players get all pissy after getting scratched, and some come back and set the world on fire. Remember Kessel last year in the playoffs?

-Speaking of One Nut, he has reverted back to his bullshit move from last year. He's been trying to fake the defenseman and slip the puck around them...but it's not working. He needs to get back to going flat-out and making the D-men think, "Oh shit, there is no way I can keep up with this dude."

-Kobasew seems to be getting the bounces. He started a little weak in the beginning of the year, but he is heating up at the right time of year.

-I like how Chara has been jumping up in the play. Just about nobody can stop this dude when he comes flying down the boards. Even five years ago, when interference was still pretty much allowed, could they have done anything.

-Looch's physical play has picked back up. Outstanding.

-Yelle going down yesterday was a blow. He has been quietly solid all year long. He's one of those players that pay huge dividends in the playoffs. Hopefully he's good to go shortly. Bitz will be filling his spot today.

Alright. Game time.