Violence Is Good, Mmmmkay?

Seriously, aside from all the limp wristed naysayers in the world, who the hell doesn't like a physical hockey game? Bodies flying, fists crunching off helmets, everyone keeping their head up so they're not taken off the ice on a stretcher...
Ah, hockey.
That being said, fuck Steve Downie. I was laughing and watched the clip about seven times. Chara was just standing there...and waiting...and waiting...and waiting...and then AH FUCK THIS SHIT started pounding on that little queefnugget's head. Downie was a punk in junior hockey , a fucker in the AHL and has blossomed to an upright mongol that needs to go into the boards headfirst. Anyone that plays like this needs to fuck off. Normally I like the guys that play on the edge like that and piss the other team off (Matthew Barnaby comes to mind), but Downie is different. It's just too bad Chara has that bum pinkie.
The boys were running away with this one, but Tampa Bay refused to back off, thanks in part to Frenchie the Smurf (Marty St.Louis). Fuck, that dude can still skate like a bastard.
Three game streak going, one game left before the break. Of course they start to heat up right when the majority of them won't play hockey for the next two weeks or so...oh well. Gonna have to see how it shakes out.
Go B's.

Bruins Lose 3-2 In The Shootout...Wait, What?

I'm sorry, the go up 2-0, blow the lead, almost score in OT and then ultimately lose in the shootout refrain is just seared into my brain due to the fact that it's happened at least 73 times this year.
Nice to see the boys pull one out...although I didn't really see it, as my DVR had stopped recording just as Slow Ryder was coming down for his shot. I didn't really expect them to win, so I was surprised as FUCK when I saw the score.
Nice to see the physical element pick up, as well. They've been sleeping for too long and these physical games always do wonders for them. Last night you could see how bad Chara wanted to go with Gaustad, but with his finger all taped up, it would have been extra time. I'm actually surprised he didn't go to the bench, rip it off and come back out.
And Looch: where the fuck have you been, dude? I couldn't stop laughing at the way you went directly for Mair last night and he just kept backing up. Mair got a freebie in, but it was great to see get pissed like that. Even last year when you were playing with Savvy and He We Do Not Speak Of Except To Mock The Fact That We Have His New Team's Draft Picks For The Next 18 Years Or So your physical play kept up. Last night when you were going after Mair, you were rocking that blood lust look that we saw several times last year . KEEP THAT FIRE GOING. Don't lay back. Your physical play can change the tempo of a game.
This sizzling 2 game winning streak simply can't overshadow one event. One event so huge, so earth shattering, so...so...I'm not sure how to describe it. Your life will be changed once you watch.
I love you for trying kid...but please don't do that again.
Go B's.

WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO

The "Bruins" "Play" The Habs Today

"Bruins" because I don't recognize this fucking team.
"Play" because this is what the "Bruins" are supposed to be doing in each game...but I've yet to see it.
The title is very literal, but cut me some slack. I am wracked with a very nice hangover and my hands have the nice post-Saturday night tremble that signifies just how much beer I drank.
So nothing witty today. I'm just trying not to shit my pants. I'm sure that will come later, like after the Habs win by seventeen or come from behind again to win in the shootout or etc. etc.etc., (insert totally fucked up situation here).
Go B's.

Welcome To Distraction Central

Could this team have anymore shit flying around right now???
Will Ryder be traded?
Chara has been playing hurt.
Caveman goes down with a broken pinkie.
Kovalchuk: yes? No?
Tim Thomas, where are you?
Modern Warfare 2? (a note on that: I've been advised by Phil from Maine that Johnny Upchuck is a bit of a gamer...let's get it on! And Phil, I'm sorry. I was a bit drunk and Assassin's Creed 2 was already in. I'll kick your ass on Rust later on OH SNAP!).
No goals.
Putting Recchi out there in the shootout (CLAUDE, ARE YOU HIGH??? YES, OL' MAN RECCHI MIGHT HAVE A BAZILLION CAREER GOALS, BUT HE CAN'T SCORE IN THE FUCKING SHOOTOUT!!!! PLEASE STOP!!!! PUT THE ASIAN LADY THAT HAS SEASON TICKETS AND SITS RIGHT BEHIND YOU OUT THERE FOR FUCK SAKE!!! I BET SHE COULD PUT DOWN HER FRENCH FRIES LONG ENOUGH TO SCORE A FUCKING GOAL AND WIN A FUCKING SHOOTOUT!!!!!).
More Xbox.
Have we found the real Tim Thomas yet?
None of this shit matters.
They are professional athletes that get paid A LOT of money to play a game.
Tonight they will go with a Habs team that has seen its share of issues this year as well.
Tonight is the night that they will begin to turn this bitch around. They have played so amazingly flat for the past ten games...I don't get how they still have jobs. A bit mind-boggling.
Tonight will be an entertaining game because the B's have realized that this season is very quickly getting away from them. They'll come out large and make the little Habs cryyyy like bebies.
And on another note: in Toronto, Vagisarek is having season ending shoulder surgery. I heard that he watched a clip of his fight with Looch from last year, and the shoulder basically spontaneously combusted as a defense mechanism.
GO B'S.

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

How fucking brutal was it to watch that game? I've never seen Julien chew ass on the bench like that. Damn.
Wideman has been on my shitlist all year, but that dude didn't miss a shift AFTER SPITTING MOST OF HIS TEETH OUT. Now if that's not tough, I don't know what is.

But they still sucked. And I think that something big has to happen. They have several days off, which could cause them to sink to pretty much dead frickin' last. I'm truly hoping from the bottom of my black, rotten heart that the Olympic break will be a blessing. Guys will be able to heal. If I were Julien, I would tell them that this is basically a season reboot. A do-over. A mulligan. However the fuck you want to think of it. The first fifty games didn't count. Go out like raped apes and win every fucking game down the stretch.

Or just continue to slide quietly into the end of the season, stopping periodically to change your tampon so that TSS doesn't set in (I'M LOOKING AT YOU, BIG V).

Either way, go B's.

Who The Fuck Are These Guys?

WHERE, OH WHERE HAVE THE BRUINS GONE?
OH WHERE THE FUCK CAN THEY BE???

I heard that Taken II is coming out in late fall. It seems that Jeremy Jacobs has commissioned Liam Neeson to go find the real Boston Bruins, who are undoubtedly locked in a tiny cell right now, slowly withering away from the heat and lack of food. Then Neeson is going to come and save me, because I'm withering away from lack of goals, lack of fights, lack of effort and lack of effort. Yes, I wrote that twice. It's double-true.

Six Bruins have played well consistently this year: Tuukka, Patty Cake, Old Man Recchi, Caveman Stuart, Edgecrusher Thornton and Frenchy Begin.

THAT MEANS THE REST OF YOU ARE ON NOTICE.
Some thoughts:
Wheeler: we paid for you? Really? REALLY? Just because you're breathing hard at the end of your shift doesn't mean you're trying hard.
Ryder: you are resembling Glen Murray more and more every game that you go without scoring.
Krejci: they were calling you "Matrix" last year because you looked like you were slowing time down. This year it just looks like you are moving so fucking slow that some no-talent-assclown (i.e. Komisarek) can lay you out. I swear to Christ, when the season is over, it better come out that you have been playing all year after being paralyzed. This is the only way I will respect your "efforts" this year. The two other centers go down with injuries...and you just disappear as well. Nice.
Herr Sturm: BE MORE FUCKING CONSISTENT!
Bitz: I don't know what Julien was thinking putting you on the top line. You're a mucker and grinder. Keep it ugly.
Sobotka: Hey Comrade Vladimir, I have an idea! Why don't you go the seventh layer of Bruins Prospect Hell and hang out with Ivan Huml, Andy Hilbert and Andre Savage? They're waiting for you and I am sick and fucking tired of watching you fill up a uniform.
Chara: Z. The Big Guy. The Big Z. Z rhymes with V. V is for vagina. Which is how you've been playing. And yes, I would say this to your face. Actually, it would probably be a nipple because of the whole height thing.
Wideman: See Wheeler.
Chuck Fucking Morris: trying to be too smooth.
Ference: oh wait, you're hurt? Still or again? I can't keep track.
Hunwick: all that money you got in arbitration must be slowing you down, because you've been skating like you're lugging around a barrelful of smashed assholes.
Timmy Thomas: man, you're breaking my heart. Where's the snap and the pop? Please please please don't pull a Blaine Lacher/Jim Carey and disappear on us.

Looch and Savvy have missed so much with injuries that they're basically a non-factor. Paille came over and has been a bright spot, as has Johhny Upchuck.

In closing, I miss PJ.

Pull your fucking heads out of your ass, throw some fucking bodychecks, and score some fucking goals.

Go B's.