Sunday, April 20, 2008

Busy Morning

As of 9:35 EST, the Associated Press is reporting that the Boston Bruins have brought on an expert to keep the momentum up. The Bruins have pushed the Habs to the brink, and it doesn't appear that they will be stopping anytime soon. The move of bringing a motivation expert onto the team so late in the season is extremely unorthodox, but apparently Lucic put a good word in for the gentleman that was hired on. It seems that Lucic has been training with this expert all season, and the B's management team thought the entire team could benefit.

This morning, Coach Claude Julien was quoted as saying "You know, the guys have been playing really hard. I hope they can keep playing the way they have been. One of the informants I have hidden in the Montreal organization [thought to be Suckmy Koivu], told me that they had hired an expert to try and keep their spirits up. I don't want my guys to be happy; I want them to be mean. So I called Looch, he set me up with the guy, and here we are."
When reached for comment, Cam Neely was surprised, but happy, at the news. "The whole reason I got back into the B's organization was to show the young guys what it means to wear this jersey. It's not about diving or churching up a hook. It's about beating your opponent, hard, every single time he (or she in Comrade Kovalev's case), touches the puck. I'm talking the "it doesn't matter that I just spit out four of my teeth, I have blood dripping out of my ear, and my elbow bone is sticking out of my jersey" kind of passion. It has been missing for a long time, but now it's back. Now that this new guy has been hired, my forehead will be able to heal." Neely is quite often seen headbutting Bruins players that are having an off game.

The newly-hired member of the team will most likely be on the bench for Game 7. When the godforesaken "Ole'" chant starts, he will fly into the crowd and dole out Gorilla Slams.


I'd Go Gay For Sturm said...

The Ultimate Warrior is the Ultimate Motivator!

Sheriff25 said...

Fucking a right he is. That's why Lucic has been playing so tough all season. If he doesn't, he gets an elbow off the top rope as soon as he walks in the door!